Breaking News
by Thorntons
Summary: When Patrick Jane learns his ex is about to get married, he falls back on all his repertoire of dirty tricks in the hope of changing her mind.
1. Chapter 1 : Unexpected News

A/N This started out as an homage to one of my favourite films His Girl Friday and then started to take on a life of its own.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Unexpected News**

So this was it, one last time and she could finally wash her hands of her past, and settle down to a new life far away from the temptations of the city. Her new beau, one Marcus Pike Junior was everything that her ex wasn't. He was honest, dependable, straightforward, not to mention utterly devoted…to his mother. Oh well, no one was perfect.

They'd met at a hotel in Acapulco, where Lisbon had taken refuge to recharge her batteries after her divorce, and to escape the constant texts from her ex, who refused to accept it was over. Marcus had been attending an international food convention, and he'd immediately been taken by the pert brunette who he'd spotted from a distance. She was so different from the women he normally met, being slightly edgy, fiercely intelligent and she had a forthright way of dealing with people. For so long the target of the unattached women at the country club, Marcus had never found anyone who really set his pulse going, despite all the eligible women his mother kept parading in front of him. There was a less that subtle inference that Marcus should be settling down, and doing his bit to provide an heir for the dynasty, but he resisted being side tracked into a marriage of convenience.

There was something about Teresa that excited him; he knew she had a past, but hell at their age who hadn't got a few miles on the clock? Her go get attitude was so refreshing in comparison to the more compliant women he normally mixed with, and he was utterly entranced by her. With uncharacteristic determination, Marcus set his sights on Teresa Lisbon, wooing her with flowers and fancy meals. Away from his home environment he was liberated from the yoke of expectations, and was altogether more carefree and engaging. However, for all his charm offensive, what eventually won Lisbon over was his solid dependability. Finally, Lisbon had found a man she could trust and after a whirlwind romance she found herself with an engagement ring on her finger and about to embark on a new life.

After a decade of cynicism, Marcus was a breath of fresh air. He offered her stability, the possibility of a future and a readymade home, albeit with Mother. That was the only cloud on the horizon, it was obvious that Mother didn't entirely approve of her son marrying a divorcee, especially one as spirited as Teresa Lisbon. It was one of the few times that Marcus stood up to his mother, he was completely smitten and wouldn't have a bad word said against Teresa. Nevertheless, Mother had a way of letting her disapproval be known, a raised eyebrow or querulous look was worth a thousand words.

The Pike were big fish in Idaho, the founders of the Old Mother Pike Potato Empire, which Marcus had been running since the untimely demise of Marcus Pike senior, who was sliced and diced after an unfortunate accident at the processing plant. Rumour had it that the old man was worse for wear at the time, and few could blame him, Ma Pike would drive a saint to drink. Privately Lisbon struggled to reconcile the happy smiling pictures of Mother that embellished the potato products, with the hard-boiled old harridan, who was soon to be her mother in law.

The home town of Peelers Creek had rallied round the Pikes, when the chips were down they could always be depended on. Marcus initially railed against following in his father's footsteps, wanting to see more of the world, but Mother prevailed and rather than have some outsider come in and fritter away his inheritance, Marcus reluctantly joined the potato community. Diligent to a fault, there was nothing Marcus didn't know about the humble spud, and given half a chance he was more than willing to share it. Still for all this, Lisbon thought the world of Marcus, finally she'd found a man who was there for her and knew how to treat a lady.

Lisbon paused in the lobby of the Chicago Globe. "You'd better wait here, this should only take 10 minutes."

"But 10 minutes is a long time to be away from you, and it doesn't feel right you having to face him alone." Marcus had misgivings about Lisbon having one last meeting with her ex.

It was sappy, but Lisbon couldn't help but be touched. "Don't you worry about me - besides I need to do this by myself."

Marcus wasn't convinced, although Lisbon was coy about her past, he knew the parting had been acrimonious. "If he gives you any problems just text me and I'll be right there."

Although Lisbon smiled indulgently, love may be blind but its wasn't entirely stupid, she knew her ex could run rings around Marcus. All the more reason to keep them well apart.

Inevitably there was a sense of nostalgia about revisiting the place, where she'd spent most of her waking hours for the last decade. Chasing headlines had been addictive, reporters were adrenaline junkies prepared to do anything to grab a headline. Lisbon wasn't proud of some of the things she'd done, but darn it she'd been a good reporter, until she went and spoiled it all by falling for the proprietor.

Lisbon took a deep breath as the elevator reached the 4th floor, psyching herself up for her grand entrance. She knew she looked good, the short-patterned dress topped by a biker jacket gave her a quirky but sassy look. It was important that she projected a confident attitude, any sign of weakness would be pounced on. Head up, chest out she strode jauntily into the news room. No one seemed surprised to see her back, they probably thought she'd come back with her tail between her legs asking for her job back. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Lisbon stopped at his long-suffering PA's desk. "So, Sadie is the prince of darkness around?"

Sadie just raised an eyebrow, she'd always got on well with Lisbon, and had some sympathy for way things had gone down with her. "Indeed, the devil's work is never done. What's more he's in a foul mood, the Tribune pipped him to a scoop. He and Cho are working on some fiendish scheme to try and grab back the headlines."

Sadie went to announce her, but Lisbon had other ideas. "No, let me surprise him." Sadie just shrugged, wishing she could be a fly on the wall of that meeting.

A resolute rap on the door and Lisbon walked straight in, Patrick Jane was watching the array of screens that decked the wall of his office, scanning them to see if there was any breaking news they might have missed.

"What is it?" He snapped without turning around to see who was there.

"Your ex-wife is here do you want to see her?" She saw him tense up briefly at the sound of her voice, before recovering his equanimity. He turned slowly with a studied air of insouciance that belied his racing mind.

Standing with the suede vest left unbuttoned, and the shirtsleeves carelessly rolled up there was raffish air to his appearance that was topped off by barely tamed blond locks that kissed the top of his collar. Lisbon drank in the sight, it was impossible to deny his allure, even if it didn't have the same impact on her these days. Naturally it wasn't unnoticed by Jane, although his smirk was short lived when he saw a hardening of her stance.

Those was angelic looks no longer held the same power over her, the illusion had been shattered and she recognised him as a fallen angel, who chose to practise the dark arts of journalism.

It hadn't been easy to break away, she'd been caught up in the interminable task of the feeding the public's insatiable appetite for news. The story was sacrosanct, and anything or anyone that stood in the way of the story was expendable. It had taken a tragedy to make her step back and take a long hard look at herself. One of their subjects had taken her life, rather than face the continued ignominy of trial by media, leaving a young family behind. Although the woman wasn't blameless, no one deserved to have every aspect of their lives picked over in public like that, but there was no stopping Jane when he smelled blood, he just went in for the kill.

Contrary to popular opinion Jane wasn't a monster, the tragedy had knocked him back briefly, but then the news hound kicked back in. This was news, and people were just a commodity to be exploited in the name of a headline. Although Lisbon knew he'd anonymously donated to the grieving family, the damage was done. They'd gone too far this time.

The truth was that she was no better than him, as his willing partner in crime Lisbon was just as culpable as he was. Jane hadn't made her do anything she wasn't willing to do, but their relationship was mutually destructive, like a pair of junkies they were incapable of restraint, knowing no boundaries in the quest for their news fix. At that stage Lisbon realised she'd have to go cold turkey, and get as far away from Patrick Jane as possible, to stand any chance of regaining a semblance of a normal life. It was impossible to separate their work and private lives, so their marriage ended the day she walked out of the Chicago Globe.

So here she was, ready to say her final goodbyes and finish this once and for all. Of course, she knew Jane wouldn't give up without a fight and was prepared for whatever stunt he concocted.

"Well hello Teresa, you're looking well." He flicked one of the TV channels over with the remote control as he watched her out of the corner of his eye, as if it were the most natural thing for her to be in his office.

"Lisbon." Cho nodded curtly in acknowledgment, thinking this was a turn up for the books. No doubt sparks would be flying before long.

"You still running that 'talent' agency Cho?" Lisbon's sarcasm didn't go unnoticed.

"Oh, that's just a sideline, I've got some new projects in development." He replied guardedly, Cho was never one to give too much away.

Lisbon knew the agency had only been a front for whatever dubious business Cho was doing. Lisbon never asked too many question, deniability was the key. Jane and Cho were as close as thieves, if Jane needed a spot of 'housekeeping', Cho was his go to man. Jane kept his hands clean, while Cho 're-arranged' the furniture. It was so easy in this digital age, in their arrogance powerful people ignored the power wielded by a bar tender with a smart phone. They never learned and Cho had an inexhaustible pool of 'talent' he could call on for any situation.

Although Jane never used any information gained this way for anything but news gathering, it certainly helped grease the wheels when trying to get a reluctant witness to talk. This wasn't law enforcement; the bar was set lower for establishing guilt in the world of newspapers. If the Globe could clinch the story with some subtle pressure, Jane wasn't going to lose any sleep about anyone stupid enough to get caught in a compromising situation.

Jane affected to be following the newsfeed as Cho and Lisbon chatted, wondering what on earth had brought Lisbon back into his life. The day she walked out on him had been the worst day of his life, not only had he lost his wife but he'd lost his best reporter, and if he was perfectly honest, he wasn't entirely sure which hurt most.

Perhaps it had been a mistake for them to get married, her expectations changed the minute he put a ring on her finger. For God's sake, she knew what he was like when she married him, and he'd never said he was going to change. He snuck a sly look at her at her. Hell, she looked good. Did she look this good when they were married, or was this the temptation of the forbidden fruit? Either way he struggled to keep his eyes off her. He shook his head as he pulled himself together, damn her this would never do.

Fortunately, he was rescued by Scully, the assistant editor, barging in. "We've got a problem Boss. That son of bitch Paulson has turned down our request under the freedom of information act, citing the data is exempt because it's geological data."

Jane frowned, that was the last thing he wanted to hear. "Just because they dug the freaking hole doesn't make it a geological feature. Can't we put the screws on the Mayor, isn't he up for re-election?"

Scully shook his head. "Can't contact him, according to his PA he's on a sailing vacation."

Exasperated, Jane barked "Where's he sailing?"

"How the hell do I know? The Caribbean or the Pacific, he could be anywhere." Scully's defeatism did him no favours with Jane.

"Well someone must have his mobile number. What about that redhead at city hall, I heard she had the Mayor's number?" He exchanged a quick look with Cho who nodded confirmation.

"What do you want me to say to him if I find him?" Scully wasn't the sharpest tool in the box.

Jane shrugged. "Whatever you have to - tell him we'll support him in the forthcoming elections, or say you'll marry his ugly sister. Just use your initiative"

"But Jane I can't do that." Scully looked aghast at him.

"Why not?" Jane snapped back.

"For a start, I'm married and we're a democrat paper, always have been." Somethings were sacrosanct in Scully's eyes.

"And we will be again, just as soon as we've got all we want. So just get on with it. You too Cho." He jerked his head in Lisbon's direction to indicate he wanted to be left alone. Cho picked up his homburg hat and donned his shades, before leaving without a word.

Lisbon had just been taking it all in, against her better instincts she was intrigued by the conversation, but the last exchange had just proved to her beyond all doubt that she was doing the right thing, Jane was a ruthless as ever if a story was on the line.

Jane circled her like a shark eying up his next meal. "So, Teresa, I have to say you're looking rather spiffy. So, how long is it?"

"How long is what?" She blanked him back.

"No need to be coy Teresa you know what I mean." The distance between them was narrowing as he closed in on his prey.

"3 months, 4 months, it could be yesterday for all I care." Lisbon didn't flinch as he drew up behind her, knowing he was deliberately trying to make her feel uncomfortable.

He whispered into her ear. "Maybe it was yesterday, if you're still dreaming about me."

"Oh, believe me I sleep soundly these days. That nightmare is well and truly over." She stepped away, re-establishing a safe distance.

Jane withdrew to sit on the corner of his desk. "Well that's a fine thing to say, it's not good for a man's ego being cast aside like that."

"Your ego's big enough to fill Lincoln Hall, so a bit of deflating won't go amiss." Lisbon felt on safer ground again.

"But it makes a man feel kind of unwanted." Despite his glibness, Jane's sense of hurt was genuine.

"Jeez Jane, that's the whole point of divorce you were unwanted!" Lisbon's patience was wearing thin, she had no intention of going over old ground again.

"No piece of paper will ever change what we had between us, besides you make divorce sound so permanent." Jane locked his eyes with hers, trying to get a read on her but she was a closed book to him.

"Jane, just get over it we're divorced and that's that. As much as I wish things had turned out differently, I realise a leopard can't change his spots. You're devious, dishonest, unreliable and manipulative –and you think one flash of that smile changes everything."

Jane shrugged. "Well those are just my good points. I can't see what your problem is, you knew what I was like."

"The problem is that I can't trust you, you don't have an iota of human decency, you can't even recognise the truth these days. The end will always justify the means to you, no matter how many people you trample over. You couldn't even behave properly at the divorce hearing. Did you really think evacuating the courthouse would make any difference to proceedings?" Lisbon's tone was getting increasingly irate as the memories flooded back.

"I don't know what you're on about." Jane feigned innocence.

"Sheepdip! An Asian guy with a homburg and shades was seen lurking outside the building just before the hoax call came in. It doesn't take a genius to work that out." Lisbon hadn't grassed up Cho, but she knew who was responsible.

Jane just smirked. "Well I tried to let go, but it's hard Teresa. Besides you'd have been disappointed if I hadn't tried. You can't blame a man for not wanting to have his home broken up."

"What home? This is your home. What did you ever offer me?" Lisbon squeaked incredulously.

Jane paused, he'd offered her himself of course, but that didn't seem the right thing to say. "I promised you we'd start looking again in the fall."

"Yeah, like you promised me a honeymoon and we ended up holed up in Nashville stalking someone geriatric claiming to be Elvis." She scoffed.

"But it would have been the scoop of the century, if it had been true." Jane had to admit that lead had been a bit tenuous.

"Jeez Jane, he couldn't even sing! So, instead of being romanced in some swanky hotel, I ended up in a cheap motel in nowheresville living off service station take out." Lisbon paused to see if he showed the slightest sign of contrition. "And there's the problem Patrick, it's always the story that comes first. No matter that you'd promised me the earth, one sniff of a story and it all got forgotten. That's not what I got married for."

"Oh come on Teresa, we had some good times. Remember Frisco?" Realising he was losing the argument, he pulled up a happy memory in desperation.

Lisbon flushed, how could she forget nearly being caught in flagrante in the elevator? "Patrick, you've got to let go and stop texting me constantly. It's time to move on."

Jane tried one last throw of the dice. "I'm happy to move on Teresa. You just come back to work and I'll put it all behind me, and if we can't put our differences to one side, we can always get married again."

Lisbon just rolled her eyes. "I know you can't help yourself but if you'd just let me finish I've got some news to tell you."

"Wonderful you can tell over lunch." Jane motioned toward the door.

"I can't. I already have a lunch date. Look Patrick you're not making this easy for me." She chewed her lip nervously.

Jane started to get suspicious. "Don't tell me you've had another offer. Not network TV surely? You're too good for that."

"It's not TV, but you're right in some respects I've had a better offer. I'm turning my back on this loathsome business once and for all." She said calmly.

Jane couldn't believe she would just turn her back on everything. "You finagled your way into my life, and it would have worked out just dandy if only you'd been satisfied being my top reporter, but no you wanted to have it all. You had to make me fall in love with you, and look where it got us. I'll swear you laced my drinks the night I proposed."

Lisbon refused to rise to the bait. "Well I've let you off the hook again now, and you're never going to have to worry about me again." She held out her finger with a sparkler on it. "You see this, it's an engagement ring and I'm getting married at the weekend."

Jane stopped dead in his tracks, like he'd been hit by a sledgehammer. Lisbon felt strangely sorry for him. "I tried to tell you straight away but you wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways. This is the end Patrick, I'm quitting for good, leaving you and this lousy business behind me."

"Hang on a minute Teresa don't be hasty. It's one thing leaving me but newsprint is in your DNA, you can't just quit like that you're a news man." Jane was treading water, trying to stop himself from drowning, until he came up with a better idea.

She smiled wryly, Jane just didn't get it. "Maybe I want to feel like a woman for once, instead of door stepping widows and ruining people's lives. I want to live a decent life for once, without feeling permanently grubby."

Jane could see his argument was holding no sway, and decided to change tack. "So, who exactly is this man and where did you meet him?"

"His name is Marcus and we met in Acapulco, and he's everything that you're not." She was wary of giving too much away.

What dull, predictable and lousy in bed?" He quipped with a smile.

Lisbon chose to ignore that. "No, he's always there for me, and treats me like a lady, not just a means to an end."

Jane seriously doubted that, there was always an endgame. "Rich huh?"

"Comfortable, he runs the family business. But that's none of your concern anymore." Lisbon was getting uncomfortable with the line of questioning.

Jane pocketed his phone and opened the door with a flourish. "Then I think it's time I met this paragon of virtue. I'm kind of fussy who my wife marries."

"Absolutely not! That's not a good idea." Lisbon knew he'd run rings round Marcus.

"So where is he, this knight in shining armour that sends his lady love into battle?" Jane's eyes narrowed in amusement, he felt more surefooted now that he had formulated a plan.

"He's waiting downstairs for me and I can fight my own battles, I don't need a defender. We just needed to get a few things straight before I left." She pressed her lips together determinedly.

Jane stopped at Sadie's desk "Call the Brasserie and reserve my usual table for three."

Sadie pursed her lips, unfazed by his brusqueness "I'll tell them to get the virgin ready for sacrifice then?"

Jane stopped in his tracks before wagging his finger at her. "Very droll. Need to work a bit on your people skills there Sadie. Staff appraisal is coming up soon."

Jane's threats cut no ice with Sadie. "Hard as I try you still keep me on. What's a girl got to do to get fired round here?" For all their banter they suited each other, she was one of the few people able to cope with his mercurial nature without getting offended.

Lisbon tried to make her escape unnoticed during the diversion, but Jane was wise to her and caught her up before she got to the elevator. "Nice try Lisbon, but you don't get away that easily. Besides I have a prospective suitor to interview."

Lisbon sighed heavily, and that was precisely what she was worried about.


	2. Chapter 2 : Operation Lisbon

**Chapter 2: Operation Lisbon**

Patrick Jane nonchalantly leaned against the back wall of the elevator watching Lisbon take her frustration out by jabbing the elevator buttons angrily. She could feel his eyes on her, but resolutely kept her back to him. The sensible thing would have been to ignore him altogether, but she just couldn't stand the thought of him thinking he had hoodwinked her.

"It will never work." She said flatly.

"What won't work?" He replied softly, his face breaking into a smile.

"Cut the crap Jane, you know exactly what I mean." She turned to face him, her hands on her hips, face screwed up in annoyance at the sight of his smiling face. "And you can wipe that self-satisfied smile off your face."

"Just remembering a happy memory – I'm rather fond of elevators if you recall." He looked a picture of innocence, but she knew exactly what he was referring to.

Her eyes narrowed. "You bring that up and so help me God, Patrick Jane you'll regret it. You have to put all that behind you. It's the past, it's over."

"But you know I've got photographic recall, once committed to memory I never forget anything. As much as I might try, every little freckle and dimple is indelibly etched into my memory palace." He paused to relish the moment. "Especially the dimples."

"Just stop it! Can't you just let me get on with my life and wish me well like any normal person?" She said more in hope than anything, since when had Patrick Jane ever been normal?

"Well, what sort of husband would I be if I didn't look after your interests?" Damn him, he almost sounded reasonable when he was like this.

"An ex-husband" She retorted.

"So you keep saying, but in my mind, I'll always be your husband." For all his faults, Jane had truly thought his marriage was for life.

The elevator slowed to a halt and the doors opened onto the busy foyer, a quick scan was all Jane needed to identify his quarry. Before Lisbon could do anything, he bounded across the foyer towards Marcus, and then at the last moment veered towards the wide-eyed youth with full soft lips and close-trimmed hair culminating in a mop of floppy curls.

Lisbon stopped dead in her tracks, what the hell was the jackass doing? Marcus looked over to her questioningly; she just looked up to the heavens to show her frustration in reply.

Jane grabbed the young man's hand and shook it vigorously. "So young man, I have to say you're not exactly what I expected, although you remind me of my younger self in some ways. But if my wife wants to marry a younger version of me, who am I to stand in her way?" He took the young man by the chin and moved his head from side to side as he weighed him up. "Umm, perhaps a beard might help you look older. You do shave, don't you? After all we don't want people calling Teresa a cradle-snatcher, do we?"

The young man looked panic struck, convinced he'd been accosted by a mad man, and spluttered nervously. "Why would I want to marry your wife?"

"Ah, so you're having doubts already. That's no basis for a marriage kiddo. Don't tell me, she swept you off your feet." He winked knowingly. "Believe me I know these _ladies_ of a certain age can be relentless when they set their sights on you."

"Jane leave him alone." Lisbon's voice came from the background.

Marcus watched on in amusement. So this was Patrick Jane, he certainly lived up to his reputation.

Jane waved his arm to silence her. "So, tell me young man, how do you propose to keep my wife in the manner to which she's become accustomed?"

"But I don't know your wife. Hell, I don't even like women." He glanced nervously towards the doorway to see if he could make a run for it.

Jane leaned in conspiratorially. "Well they can be difficult kid but…"

At that moment, he felt a tap on his shoulder, he turned around and glared at Pike. "Excuse me Sir, I'm trying to talk to my wife's fiancé here, and I'd appreciate a bit of privacy."

Pike looked over to Lisbon, who gave him a _I did warn you_ look, but Marcus was undeterred. "In that case, I think you want to talk to me, I'm Marcus Pike."

Jane's head shot between the men on either side of him. "Well one of you is an imposter. Will the real Marvin Pike step forward?"

"Marcus." Lisbon corrected, knowing Jane needed no reminding, it was all part of his game.

Unfazed Marcus held out his hand. "And you must be Patrick Jane, so pleased to finally meet you."

Ignoring the proffered hand for now, Jane rounded on the youth "Why I should turn the police on you, preying on older women to satisfy your Oedipus complex. Why you're just cougar bait."

That was it, the young man had taken all he could, he took flight without looking back until he was safely on the street.

"Sorry about that, what is the world is coming to? Marvin, it's good to finally meet you." Jane shook Pike's hand vigorously using both hands, refusing to relinquish his hold while he weighed up his adversary. Umm, a tad younger than Jane, he wasn't bad looking in a swarthy sort of way, honest eyes set wide apart, competent if not exceptional. Judging by his steady pulse he was either exceptionally laid back or slow witted.

Before Pike could react, Jane was off again. "Well Marvin, I'm really looking forward to getting to know you over lunch. You must tell me all about how you met Teresa in Albuquerque."

"Acapulco actually, and my name is M…"

Jane didn't let him finish, he slapped him on the back a tad harder than was strictly necessary. "Ah, our car has arrived, jump in our table awaits."

Marcus mouthed _lunch?_ at Lisbon, she just shrugged apologetically.

The driver who bore striking resemblance to Johnny Depp, jumped out and opened the door. Pike did a double take. "Is that…?"

Jane pulled a face. "Divorce is an expensive business."

Lisbon who knew all about Cho's side-line, couldn't help but smile as she hopped into the car, quickly followed by Jane, leaving Marcus to sit on the other side. Jane sat with his legs spread wide forcing Pike and Lisbon further apart. "Well this is cosy, just the three of us."

Lisbon closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, maybe this was a bad dream and she'd wake up and it would all be over.

* * *

Cho glanced down at the text from Sadie, relaying Jane's instruction to make his way over to Gustave's Brasserie. He had no idea what Jane had planned, but that was par for the course. Anyhow he'd been relieved to wrap up the latest bout of auditions; these suckers would do anything for their fifteen minutes of fame. Usually he could find somewhere to slot them in, but even he couldn't accommodate the red head from Iowa, purporting to be a Christina Hendricks. Those falsies simply didn't cut the mustard – after all Hendricks sans front was like Marilyn without her wiggle. As if that wasn't bad enough, the Welshman with the vaguely Neanderthal profile had flounced out when he offered him a gig as Lurch. With wannabes a dime a dozen, they could hardly afford to be choosy.

Cho frowned as he made his way back to the car. He'd seen that fleeting look on Jane's face when Lisbon walked back into his office; the poor schmuck still wasn't over her. Cho was one of the few people who scratched beneath the surface of Jane, and he knew that despite all the bravado and bluster, losing Lisbon had knocked the boss off his stride. To the outside world Jane was as brash and abrasive as ever, maybe even worse since Lisbon had left, but at the end of the day there was a pensive air to him that no amount of drink could remedy.

The floozies that hovered like vultures while Lisbon was around, now flocked for his attention, but never got beyond some mild flirting. Hell, the poor sucker even kept his ring in his waistcoat pocket and subconsciously fingered it in his unguarded moments. Most people would say he just hated losing, but Cho had an inkling it went deeper than that, the news may be his mistress, but a part of him still missed his wife.

Of course, none of this meant he was a reformed character, and Cho had a feeling he was going to be using the full panoply of dirty tricks in operation Lisbon.

Cho and Sadie were keeping a close eye on things. When Jane was like this he was liable to be reckless and drag others down with him. At least with Lisbon around, he'd had some regard for her wellbeing if not his own, but now with his devil may care attitude he was surely in a handcart to hell.

Much as Cho liked Lisbon, he was on Jane's side in this matter, their lives would be a whole lot easier with Lisbon back in the fold.

* * *

Gustave the proprietor greeted Jane warmly, as well as being a regular guest he was an exceedingly good tipper, although Gustave sometimes wished he'd try something a bit more sophisticated than eggs from the menu. However, his eyes lit up when he saw Lisbon. "Ah Madame Jane, delighted to see you again." He raised a hopeful eyebrow in Jane's direction in anticipation of good news.

"Ah Gustave you remember my wife, do you? Let me introduce you to her latest paramour Marvin." Jane said with a glint in his eye.

"Fiancé actually Gustave, and he's called Marcus." Lisbon pecked him affectionately on both cheeks.

Gustave just gave a gallic shrug it was none of his business, after all the French had long perfected a laissez faire approach to affairs of the heart.

Jane stopped for a whispered exchange with the maître d', a poor man's Brad Pitt, with a permanently worried expression, who briefly perked up when Jane slipped a bill into his hand.

Jane's usual haunt gave him a grandstand view of proceedings. It was a window on the movers and shakers of Chicago, and a constant source of useful snippets of information to be stored away for future reference. A quick glance around was enough to log that congressman Walker's niece was dining with him again; the powerful were blessed with such attractive relatives. It looked as if the Bear's quarterback had fallen off the wagon again, judging by his belligerent air.

Gustave held out Lisbon's chair with an exaggerated air of formality, leaving Marcus standing round like a spare part. Without checking, Marcus automatically flopped down in the chair next to Lisbon, only to jump up in embarrassment when he found himself on Jane's knee. Yet again Jane was one step ahead of him.

Jane's eyebrows shot up mischievously. "Oh là là! I wasn't expecting our tête-à-tête to be quite so intimate after such a short acquaintance."

Marcus flushed and gruffly muttered an apology, before taking the seat on the other side of Jane.

Lisbon surreptitiously slid her hand under the table and pinched Jane's thigh hard, if he wanted to play games so could she. His eyes watered as her fingers dug in. She reached down to her handbag, hissing, "I don't know what you think you're doing, but just remember two can play dirty. I was taught by the master." She smiled sweetly across the table at Marcus.

The rather pert waitress who bore an uncanny resemblance to Jennifer Anniston took their orders, and Jane started to find out more about this would-be suitor. By his reckoning it must have been a whirlwind romance. "To be honest Marvin, I wasn't the best of husbands to Teresa, but I think I owe it to her to make sure that she doesn't make the same mistake second time around. I mean, it's lucky you've had all this time to get to know each other – weeks and weeks. Months. A month even. Out of interest how long have you been romancing my wife?

"Ex." Lisbon added for the benefit of the woman at the next table, who was listening intently to their conversation.

Marcus looked at Lisbon shyly. "Well it's been kind of quick I guess, but when you've met the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, why wait a moment longer than you have to?"

The woman on the next table just sighed, by now a little bit in love with Marcus herself.

Flattered as Lisbon was, she knew that was tantamount to waving a red flag to a bull, and she noted the slight narrowing of Jane's eyes, although the smile stayed in place. "Well I can see how Teresa fell for that kind of charm. Hell, I want to marry you myself."

"Me too." The woman behind them muttered.

Jane frowned at the intervention, but carried on undeterred. "But did you ever worry that straight off the back of divorce, Teresa might be a bit emotionally vulnerable, what with being on the rebound and such a devout catholic as well."

"Catholics may not believe in divorce, but we _do_ believe in murder." She whispered out of the side of her mouth, hiding behind the drinks menu.

Oblivious to the side conversations, Marcus carried on. "I assured her there was no pressure, but as I was going home to Idaho, I asked Teresa to come back with me. As she agreed, it just seemed the most natural thing in the world to get hitched."

"Hmm. So Idaho, what's that famous for?" Jane slipped his hand over his mouth hand before adding for Lisbon's benefit. "Well apart from gullible men." A well-aimed kick was his reward.

Marcus ploughed on. "Potatoes largely, but Peelers Creek is well known for its hiking and fishing, not to mention its quilting circle and the culinary societies."

"I can see why you can't wait to get there Teresa, sounds like just the sort of place any woman would love to live" Jane knew city girl Lisbon wasn't at one with nature, and she was more likely to use a stapler than a needle for running repairs.

"Fortunately, Mother is on hand to show Teresa the ropes." Marcus added to complete the picture of domestic bliss that awaited Lisbon.

"Mother?" Jane's eyes were positively dancing with amusement.

Lisbon slid down her seat, guessing how this was going to go.

"Yes, we'll be living with Mother until we find a place of our own." Marcus looked uncertainly at Lisbon, who was acting most strangely.

"Well, what better way for a young married couple to set up home than with Mother." Jane was feeling altogether more relaxed about things now.

"It's just for a few months, we'll soon have our own home." Lisbon interjected, that was one point she was adamant on.

"So, tell me Marvin what exactly do you do for a living? I just want to make sure my wife, O _uch!_ ex-wife will be looked after."

It was kind of weird being interrogated by the ex, but polite to a fault Marcus went with the flow. "Well I run the Old Mother Pike's potato empire. You've probably seen the advertisements on billboards."

Jane's head shot round "Surely not _the_ Ma Pike?"

"Yes, that's mother." Lisbon sighed.

Oh, this was priceless, Jane's mirth knew no bounds, but he continued to reel Marcus in slowly. "So, how's business these days, with people getting more health conscious?"

Marcus frowned. "I have to say sales are down, we're looking for new ways to innovate."

With a sneaky look at Lisbon, an idea germinated. "Excuse me for being impertinent, but as an outsider I'd say your image is tailored to an older generation. Perhaps a relaunch aimed at a more cosmopolitan appetite that want some spice in their lives would be better fronted by an all-American girl. I can just see the logo now _Aunt Tessie's Tasty Tatters_. Ow!" Jane rubbed his calf gingerly.

"Oh, I'm not sure Mother would like that." Pike knew how protective she was of her position as the potato matriarch.

"Don't worry Marcus, believe me it's _never_ going to happen." Lisbon shot a glare at Jane.

Jane had an epiphany. "Look, I'd like to make amends for being such a lousy husband, and I know the home editor is always looking for new culinary features. So how about we get Ma Pike to do some features on the art of potato cuisine. Just think of all the publicity, and with our online presence you'd be opening up your products to a whole new audience."

Marcus frowned. "Oh, I don't know. It sounds expensive."

"Nonsense, call it my wedding gift to you love birds. After all, it's the least I can do for Teresa to make amends." For all Jane's mockery, he'd been wondering how Lisbon was making ends meet. She'd waived all alimony, determined to sever the link between them.

Marcus looked dubious. "I'm not sure I like the idea of another man looking out for my wife." For once he and Jane were on the same page.

Lisbon had been doing some quick computations, and while this was inevitably part of some con by Jane, it was foolish to look a gift horse in the mouth. "But Marcus, just think how much Mother would enjoy it." Besides if the old biddy had something to keep her busy, maybe she'd stop interfering in their lives. It had been bad enough her trying to organise the wedding – honestly a sylvan theme was so passé.

Jane pulled out his phone and tapped out a quick text. "Sadie's on to it now, she'll make all the arrangements."

Lisbon's eyes narrowed slightly, whoever Jane was texting, she guessed it wasn't Sadie. Her eyes scanned the restaurant looking for any of Jane's known associates. There was a distinctive hat on the bar next to a coffee cup, but the owner was nowhere to be seen. She guessed the play was in motion, but she had no idea what Jane was planning.

Lisbon noticed a slight contretemps between their waitress and the one serving on the opposite side of the room. There was an impasse as neither waitress was prepared to give way until the flustered maître d' rushed forward to make the peace. Marcus was perplexed, "Surely that's not that Angelina and …"

Jane shook his head solemnly. "Divorce is a terrible business, but that's relationships for you. They always seem to end up in a tragic web of deceit and betrayal. It's a salutary reminder that marriage is a serious business and not one to be rushed into. But I know that once you've made your mind up, there's no going back. For better or worse."

Lisbon wafted Jane's arm. "Just cut it out Jane. Oh, take no notice of him Marcus. It's a themed restaurant, the staff are all lookalikes, out of work actors or wannabes, all waiting for their big break."

Marcus' eyes trailed after the dark-haired waitress, "Could have fooled me." The lingering look didn't escape Jane's attention, perhaps this paragon of virtue has a weak spot after all.

Jane's phone started to ring. "Excuse me, I just need to take this. Scully this had better be important." He listened intently, grunting with displeasure at what he was hearing. "What do you mean you can't get hold of Bernstein? He's our best reporter…. well second best." He stole a quick look at Lisbon.

"Got married! He's only known the girl a month. What sane person gets married that quickly? After all they're practically strangers." Scully went silent at the other end of the phone, perplexed at the direction the conversation was going, but Jane kept on going regardless.

"So, our mole has finally come good, and now we've got no one capable of getting the most out of the story, unless…." Jane stared straight at Lisbon. "I'll come back to you Scully." As he rang off he discreetly signalled to the maître d'.

Lisbon folded her arms. "Absolutely not. I've done with this world and no trumped-up scheme is going to keep me here."

Jane looked hurt. "That's not a very nice thing to say." He stopped as Lisbon passed over her phone showing Bernstein's latest tweet featuring his twin girls. "Ah well you've got me there, but I have to say no-one tells a story like you Lisbon."

At that moment, the Angelina look alike tripped and spilled a glass of water over Pike. She immediately grabbed his napkin to wipe him down, distracted by the lissom brunette's sultry looks Marcus barely noticed her light fingers slipping his wallet out of his pocket and handing it to the passing maître d', who winked conspiratorially at Jane as he walked away.

Although Lisbon missed that exchange, she still smelt a rat, and had another look out for Cho. The hat had disappeared from the bar and he was nowhere to be seen, but Lisbon knew their modus operandi.

If it looked like a duck, and quacked like a duck, there was every chance it was a small aquatic bird of the family anatide. Jane's studied concern didn't fool her either. He was at his most dangerous when he looked innocent.

Always the boy scout, Pike noticed Jane's worried look and couldn't help himself. "Well, if you're really stuck I'm sure Teresa could spare an hour, we could always take a later plane."

Lisbon raised an eyebrow, she didn't need anyone's permission.

Noting the first cloud in paradise, Jane motioned to Pike to draw closer and spoke in hushed tones. "You see the thing is, we're on the cusp of a breaking story." Jane rather dramatically looked round to make sure no-one was in earshot, pulling a face at the woman on the next table who was straining to hear them. "The city is trying to develop an old military site, and it's come to our attention that the contractors employed to clear the site cut corners and the ground is still contaminated. We've been thwarted at every turn, the information is protected by the FOI legislation, but our mole has found some incontrovertible proof that this cover up goes right to the top. We just need to get her story and go to print before the powers that be try to shut us down."

Marcus looked dubious. "That sounds a bit sketchy. I mean, I don't want Teresa getting into trouble."

Lisbon bridled slightly, as well meaning as Marcus was, she was still capable of making her own decisions. Against her better nature the news hound in her could still sniff a scoop. No, this wouldn't do, she simply wouldn't let Jane reel her in again. She was so finished with this world.

Jane put on his best sincere face. "From what we hear, there are traces of chemicals on site that can cause all sorts of abnormalities and illnesses. Can you imagine the future generations that would be affected, all for the sake of not being able to sell the story? This is our last chance to talk to the mole before she breaks cover. Do you really want to go into your marriage haunted by the countless lives that could have been saved for the want of a few hours of Teresa's time?"

"Sheep dip Jane, you're more than capable of writing the story yourself." Lisbon could see Marcus falling for it hook line and sinker.

"But no-one has your way with words, you can tell a story that plays the heart strings like a violin. One last article from you and we can stop this travesty and save all those poor people from a life of misery." Jane held his hands out beseechingly.

"No dice Jane. I knew you'd try something before the meal was over. Hell, we only have your word for it that it's true." Lisbon folded her arms defiantly.

Pike looked a bit surprised at Lisbon's scepticism, he'd never seen this side of her before. "Teresa that's a bit harsh. It seems to me that Patrick is just trying to do the right thing here, and if he only has one chance to do this, maybe we should help him. When we've got a lifetime together to look forward to, I'm sure we can spare an hour or two. I can always rebook the tickets for later."

Jane nodded approvingly as Pike spoke, Lisbon was a bit taken aback that Marcus would take Jane's side in this. The conniving son of a bitch was already driving a wedge between them. There again that story did sound interesting, maybe one last scoop would set her up for freelance work when she got to Idaho. It was sure as hell better than promoting potatoes.

"Ok Jane you win, but if you think for one minute I'm fooled by any of this, think again. I don't know what you're up to, but when this is done it's over, we go own ways."

The waitress brought the bill over for Jane to sign, he patted his pockets. "Damn I seem to have left my wallet behind, anyone got change for the tip."

Marcus put his hand to his pocket, then frantically started searching for his wallet. Lisbon inhaled sharply, she should have known. The waitress bent down and picked something up. "I think you've dropped something Sir." Relieved Marcus opened his wallet and left a generous tip.

"Just check your wallet Marcus, make sure everything is still there." Lisbon had a bad feeling about this.

After a cursory look, Marcus confirmed it was all there. Lisbon just looked suspiciously across the table at Jane, he never batted an eyelid. Hmm, maybe the wallet incident was an accident and maybe it wasn't, but Lisbon knew she had to keep her wits about her. There was no such thing as coincidences.

* * *

A/N Thanks to Fiasco Way for the Lurch and cougar bait lines.


	3. Chapter 3 : Smoke and Fire

**Chapter 3: Smoke and Fire**

Jane could barely disguise his satisfaction at a plan coming to fruition, as he watched Lisbon proprietorially bundle Pike into the waiting taxi, all the while keeping a wary eye on Jane. She was all too aware that nothing was straightforward with Jane, it didn't take a genius to work out that some play was in motion. The problem was that Jane was liable to change the rules of engagement without warning, changing direction like quicksilver making it nigh on impossible for lesser mortals to keep up with him.

Under normal circumstances, Lisbon kept up with him better than most, albeit she was usually on the same side as him. It had been a long time since she'd had to contend with the full panoply of his shenanigans. Trapped in the eye of a storm that Jane had conjured up, things were happening all around Lisbon. It was scant consolation to know that he was unlikely to let any harm come to her. If only she had the same confidence about her impending nuptials, which were now firmly in Jane's sights.

Content that he had a brief hiatus on that front, Jane turned his attention back to the other game in play. Their mole was getting cold feet after being pursued by some shady characters, and had contacted Cho for assistance. It wasn't clear who was behind the intimidation, and the perp list allowed for multiple possibilities. More worrying for Jane, Cho had reported that rival newspapers were starting to sniff around the story and Jane needed to secure his asset before someone else got to them.

This was far too big a story to let slip, and furthermore it was integral to Operation Lisbon.

* * *

It was with some trepidation that Pike and Lisbon returned to their hotel, fully expecting a frosty reception after standing Mother up for lunch. Pike had broken the ice with a phone call as soon as they'd left the restaurant, but knew this was going to be an uphill struggle. He thanked his lucky stars for Jane's offer of a running series of articles, Mother could never resist the lure of the spotlight, and with any luck that would be enough to mollify her.

As they approached the door of the Pike suite, they almost bumped into the room service waiter who was beating a hasty retreat, casting an accusatory eye in the direction of the door. Grimacing at the prospect of yet more problems, Pike's gaze followed the waiter down the corridor. He was clearly nursing wounded pride, or perhaps something else judging by the slightly stilted gait. A worried frown formed between Pike's brows, he knew mother could be tricky at times.

For the sake of mother's sensitivities, Lisbon had booked a room further down the corridor, and Pike briefly contemplated a detour by way of Lisbon's room, to re-stake his claim on her. Something about meeting Patrick Jane had made him feel insecure, and had brought out a primal urge to reassert his masculinity. Pike sensed there was unfinished business between Teresa and Jane, not that you would guess it by Teresa's combative approach to Jane. All the same, Pike had never understood why Lisbon had insisted on seeing him one last time.

On face value Jane seemed ok to Pike, granted he was a bit larger than life and cocksure, not Teresa's type at all, but he seemed genuine enough in wanting to expose this story. Pike wasn't naïve enough to think it was entirely altruistic, the kudos of breaking the story was immense. He also knew that for all Teresa denied it, the thrill of the chase was addictive, Pike hadn't missed that steely glint in her eye at the whiff of a breaking story.

Pike settled for a quick smooch before parting, and braced himself to deal with Mother. Consoling himself with the thought that they had a lifetime together to look forward to….

* * *

The loose-fitting cape served to disguise the person smuggled in through the service entrance of the Chicago Globe. Feeling distinctly disgruntled at the indignity of it all, their mole Cassie disdainfully surveyed the spartan comforts of the stock room. The lowered hood revealed a tall, lithe blonde of indeterminate age. A keen intelligence shone through the eyes, beneath the heavily pencilled brows. Taking the only seat in the room, Cassie assumed a languorous pose. A hand slipped down to reach for a packet of cigarettes, then slipped a cigarette out of the pack, and tapped it against the pack before lighting it with a dramatic flourish, with a flash of defiance in Cho's direction. The eyebrows raised, and the lips formed into a sensual O as if blowing a kiss, before directing a plume of smoke in the direction of the smoke detector.

Cho shuffled uneasily from one foot to another, he was used to theatrical types but there was something about this chick that got under his skin. Having failed to elicit a response from Cho at the first attempt, the next plume of smoke was blown straight into Cho's face.

His eyes blinked a few times in the onslaught of smoke, apart from that Cho maintained his impassive demeanour. "Just cut it out – you know there's no smoking."

"So, shoot me darling." A husky voice drawled provocatively.

Cho swallowed deeply, not knowing what to make of the exotic creature that arched an eyebrow in his direction. It was with some relief that he registered the sound of the approaching footfall, that heralded Jane's arrival.

"Well aren't you the pretty one." Cassie husked appreciatively at Jane's appearance.

Jane's face broke into a smile, as all became clear. Used to the attention of others, he just brushed the compliment aside. "Cassie, we meet at last. There's no time to waste, so I've arranged for someone to interview you by skype, we don't want too many people to know of your whereabouts. Now just stand up for a minute."

Cassie shrugged and stood up for inspection, while Jane quickly made his assessment. "See something you like honey?"

Jane was unfazed by it all, and had little time to waste. "Umm, I'll have Sadie send you a change of clothes. As soon as the interview is over, we'll whisk you away on an all-expenses paid trip to Venezuela for a few weeks, to keep you out of trouble while the story breaks."

"S'pose there's no chance of some company?" Cassie raised a hopeful eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find someone more to your taste when you get there." Ignoring the unsubtle proposition, Jane exited with a smile.

Cassie muttered wistfully. "Such a waste of a good man."

* * *

Jane quickly made his way back to his office, barking orders as he traversed the newsroom. "Scully what do you know about potatoes?"

"Potatoes?" Scully squinted through his wire framed glasses.

"You know, round things, used for fries and chips." Jane frowned irritably as the others struggled to keep pace with him.

"Yeah, I know what a potato is, but what's the big deal with them?" The curmudgeonly Scully countered.

"Some old dame will be coming up to discuss a series of features on potatoes with our 'food editor'. Just humour her, and offer her whatever she wants to keep her quiet." Jane had every intention of rescinding any offers made as soon as this business was over.

"So, who is this dame?" Scully needed something to work with.

"Ma Pike, the eponymous figurehead of the potato empire, and Lisbon's prospective mother in law. Just keep her away from the stockroom. We're still dealing with the _merchandise._ " Jane gave the briefest outline, leaving Scully to fill in the gaps.

Scully frowned disapprovingly, like the rest of the staff he had a soft spot for Lisbon. "So, Lisbon agreed to do the interview?"

"Was it ever in doubt?" Jane turned to Sadie. "Sort my dress suit out, to take down to the stockroom - oh and some wipes and a pair of shoes."

Sadie clicked her tongue in response to Jane's brusqueness. "Jawohl mein Komandant."

Jane's lips quirked in momentary irritation, if Sadie weren't so darned indispensable he'd have replaced her years ago. She was a whiz with technology and saved Jane the drudgery of having to learn about technicalities. She'd already set up the connection to the stock room in his office, all Jane needed now was Lisbon.

Sadie buzzed through to his office. "The Queen of Sheba and her entourage are pulling up; do we roll out the red carpet?"

Jane emerged from his office. "No, I'll go and meet them, do the old razzle dazzle to keep them sweet."

Sadie snorted. "Seriously, people still fall for that line?"

"All the time" He grinned unapologetically. "Besides, it's good to keep your hand in, you never know when it may be needed."

"Well good luck with that, I've heard the old dragon rules the roost. Can't think how Lisbon is going to live with that." Sadie hoped this new man was worth it, word on the grapevine was that he was quite a looker.

* * *

Jane arrived in the reception lobby just as the Pike party made their entrance. He quickly eyed up Mother, entitled and monied she was clearly used to calling the shots. There was however a weakness to her chin, which Jane determined would make her susceptible to flattery. He observed the body language of the trio. Mother imperious and stern, Pike desperately trying to keep all parties happy, and Lisbon trying and failing miserably to be the model daughter in law. Jane didn't miss the flashes of irritation whenever her face was turned away from the group. Mother could well be his saviour, and deserved the full works.

Jane breezed over to greet them. "Ah Pike, I see you've brought your sister along. Will your mother be coming later?"

Lisbon rolled her eyes at the hackneyed old line. Even Pike smiled, appreciative of the attempt to woo Mother, and God knew she needed buttering up today. "Mr Jane, let me introduce you to my mother Imelda Pike."

"No, it can't be true. Why you must have been a child bride?" Jane hammed it up to perfection.

Though no fool, Mother still appreciated the flattery and proffered a gloved hand out to Jane. "Why Mr Jane, your reputation precedes you."

Playing up to her expectations, Jane raised her hand to his lips with a flourish. "The pleasure is all mine my dear lady. Our food editor can't wait to meet the original Ma Pike. I can tell you he is quite a fan." Jane sincerely hoped Sadie had filled Scully in with all the facts by now.

Mother relished being the star turn, and Jane saw an unmistakable twinkle in her eye. Jane lavished his attention on her, taking her by the arm to lead her to the elevator. Lisbon and Pike looked on in amazement at the transformation in Mother. She'd been positively belligerent just a few minutes earlier, and now she was like putty in Jane's hands.

They piled into the elevator behind Jane, who stood in front of them while he selected the floor. His eyebrows shot up as he felt something skim his nether quarters – shaking his head, he rationalised it was the elder Pike's handbag until he felt what was a definite squeeze. His head shot round accusingly, Lisbon was too far away, Pike was too straight laced which only left Mother, who just smiled enigmatically. His eyes narrowed accusingly. Umm there was life in the old girl yet.

No stranger to unwanted attention, Jane made a point of keeping well in front as he led the party to the newsroom. Sadie had re-applied her lipstick on seeing Pike, who clearly met with her approval. She had to concede that Lisbon had taste in men.

"Put your tongue away." Jane hissed at Sadie who's eyes unashamedly raked over Pike. "Besides he's taken – well for now at any rate." A germ of an idea came to Jane.

"Scully, how about you take Imelda to the interview suite, while Sadie sorts out some refreshments." He glanced meaningfully at Sadie. "I'm sure Marvin here won't mind giving you some help, after all Imelda is more than capable of dealing with Scully."

Pike's lips pressed together in a half smile before putting matters straight in his easy-going manner. "It's Marcus actually, but what's in a name?"

Lisbon peered curiously at Sadie, what was with that inane look on her face? Putting that thought aside, Lisbon had more pressing issues to deal with, and the sooner they got on with it, the sooner she could wash her hands of Patrick Jane once and for all.

"You sure you'll be alright?" She was wary of Marcus being duped while she was otherwise engaged. He was a decent, straightforward man and a classic mark for one of Jane's scams.

Marcus smiled reassuringly. "It's all in hand, we'll be winging our way to Russet Airport before you can say Jiminy Cricket. I've just got to change the reservations for a later flight. Row 12 same as last time?"

"Just be careful Marcus. Strange things happen around here. Keep your wallet close at all times and trust no-one." Lisbon added with a suspicious look at Sadie, who sighed at Pike's every utterance.

Lisbon could only assume that Sadie had resorted to popping happy pills, it was the only viable explanation for the transformation of this tough Chicago cookie. Lisbon didn't even countenance the thought that it was her betrothed that had reduced her to this pitiful state, after all the woman who was immune to the charms of Patrick Jane was hardly likely to be bowled over by Marcus Pike.

Meanwhile, Scully had scoured the Idaho potato website in advance of Ma Pike's arrival, and he now knew his Burbank from his Fingerling. Not being of a domestic nature, Scully needed directions to the kitchen most of the time, so anything over and above that was lost on him, but he did know Mrs Scully was a devotee of Ma Pike's Hash Browns.

Jane's lips pursed in amusement, wondering how Scully would fare. The important thing was to keep the old dragon occupied, while the other plays were in motion. As for Scully, he was just going to have to take one for the cause…

A sense of contentment welled over Jane as he saw Pike throwing his head back in laughter, as Sadie skittishly regaled him with stories of Jane and Lisbon's more outlandish exploits. With any luck this insight into Lisbon's former life might plant some seeds of doubt about her disposition to play happy families.

Sadie was a woman on a mission, doing the devil's work without him having to lift a finger. At the very least it may cause Pike pause to contemplate, whether a woman who was prepared to go undercover in the vice dens of Chicago for the sake of a story, was really the best candidate to raise the next generation of Pikelets.

Of course, the poor schmuck could be so smitten that it would only increase his adoration for Lisbon, but Jane suspected Pike was conservative by nature and wanted an easy life. Jane just had to hope that the drip, drip, drip of information would slowly erode Pike's peace of mind, making him realise just how little he knew of Lisbon's former life

A more benevolent smile crossed Jane's face as he saw Lisbon hunched up over some notes, a little furrow formed between her brows as she tried to speed read the dossier, taking occasional notes of the salient points. She was a damned fine reporter, one of the best, and he wasn't going to let her go a second time without a fight, regardless who got caught in the crossfire.

Lisbon squinted at the screen trying to get a better look at Cassie, the lighting had been kept to a minimum to obscure the surroundings; the less Lisbon knew the better.

She cleared her throat." Ahem. Hello, I'm Teresa Lisbon investigative reporter." Damn, that still sounded good.

An indifferent shrug of acknowledgement was Cassie's response, followed by another long drag on the cigarette.

Slightly nonplussed by the aloof reaction, Lisbon reverted to a more hard-nosed approach, after all they hadn't got time to mess around. "So how do you want to play this? Do you just want to tell me your story or shall I lead?"

"Ooh aren't you little Miss Fierce?" Cassie retaliated waspishly.

Cassie was no victim and had been fully aware of the implications of turning whistle-blower, but being cooped up like some fugitive while the guilty parties were still at large, brought out a mean streak.

Jane quietly slipped into the room and stood out of sight, but Cassie had heard the door opening and peered forward suspiciously. "Who's that?"

"Just me Cassie, just keeping an eye on things." Jane responded reassuringly, the last thing they wanted was for Cassie to try and take flight.

Picking up on Jane's mood, Lisbon proceeded cautiously, drawing out Cassie's story and filtering out the more technical aspects, choosing to concentrate on the more human side. So many different parties were implicated. Although the Armed Forces had done everything by the book, they were complicit in the cover up, not wanting the classified nature of their work to come to light. Worse was the naked self-interest of the contractors who had cut corners and the City Hall regulators who had swept it all under the carpet. Once Cassie had started delving deeper it was clear that the proposed development had been sanctioned by people with vested interests, and the trail lead straight back to the Mayor's office.

Not only would the construction workers be exposed to a cocktail of carcinogens, but the long-term effects of living on contaminated land could lead to genetic mutations and serious illnesses. Rather than have it battled out in the law courts after the event, Cassie was determined to stop the development before it could go ahead.

The outward cynicism was just a mask Cassie chose to hide behind, in order to keep people at a distance. No doubt there was good reason for the sense of distrust, flying in the face of convention Cassie had taken some knocks along the way. There had to be some inner steel to have come this far, and Lisbon respected the reasons for Cassie's whistleblowing.

Lisbon glanced over to Jane to see if she had missed anything, before she got down to writing her copy.

Her thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sound of an unscheduled fire alarm. Jane and Lisbon locked eyes, both thinking this was too much of a coincidence. Lisbon glanced back at the screen, perplexed at the echo of the alarm coming out of the speakers.

Her worried frown quickly transformed into a suspicious glare. "What's going on Jane, is this some scam? Was there ever a real story, or are you so degenerate that you'll do anything to get your own way, no matter who gets hurt?"

Jane held his hands up defensively, normally he had to own some of that, but not this time. "Deniability Lisbon, the fewer people that knew Cassie's whereabouts the better."

"How do I know this isn't some setup with one of Cho's talent?" Lisbon peered closer at the monitor; her eyes were used to the light now and she could just about distinguish some detail. "Is that the stock room?"

Jane shrugged noncommittally, he had very pleasant memories of that room and judging by Lisbon's passing flush of embarrassment he wasn't the only one. Enough of that, Lisbon stormed out of the room, brushing Pike and Sadie aside without a word as she flew through the newsroom.

"Uh Oh." Sadie muttered, guessing the gaffe was blown.

"Quick the change of clothes." Jane snatched them off Sadie and followed in quick pursuit.

Pike's jaw hung loosely as he watched his betrothed cut a swathe through the newsroom, sending things flying in her wake. "Does someone want to tell me what's going on?"

Sadie patted his arm consolingly. "Don't you worry honey, you'll get used to it."

Pike looked serious, he wasn't sure he wanted to get used to this. Thank heavens the end was in sight – Peelers Creek had never seemed so welcoming.

There were some strange things going on that he didn't understand. Why only 5 minutes earlier when Pike had phoned the airline to re-arrange their flights, he was told they'd already been cancelled and new flights had been booked to Caracas. They refused to believe him when he insisted there must be some mistake. In desperation he tried to book new flights, only to find out that his credit card had been blocked.

Pike considered following Lisbon, but stopped in his tracks when he saw Scully storm out of the interview room chuntering. "Madam, I'm a married man!" Pike gave Mother an uncertain look, he'd steadfastly refused to believe the scurrilous rumours when Juan the gardener left unexpectedly, but there was no smoke without fire.

Cassie jumped out of the seat when the door suddenly burst open, and a ferocious Lisbon rounded on Cho. Jabbing her finger in Cho's face, Lisbon jerked her head back in Cassie's direction "Is this one of your floozies Cho?"

"I've tried but he's not interested sweetheart. Straight as a die." Cassie answered first. Cho opted for silence, guessing anything he said would further incense Lisbon.

Lisbon turned her attention to Cassie. With her hands on her hips, she eyed Cassie up suspiciously. "So, what, or rather who are you?"

"What's the obsession with labels? I'm whoever I want to be." Cassie responded enigmatically, a hint of amusement played on the lips.

Lisbon harrumphed, still not knowing who was for real, and not trusting anyone, especially the blond devil who appeared in the doorway with a change of clothing for Cassie.

"I think you'll find these better for travelling in. We need to get you out of here, the sooner we get you on that plane to Caracas the better."

"Boss." Cho was staring at the wisps of smoke seeping under the door.

Jane frowned, although he could tell from the smell there was no fire, it was worrying enough that someone was trying to smoke them out. He had to come up with a plan quickly, it was imperative he protected his witness, his story and Lisbon, though not necessarily in that order.

* * *

 **A/N** It's been a bit of a struggle to get back into this story after a layoff, hopefully the next update won't take so long.


	4. Chapter 4 : The Art Of War

**Chapter 4: The Art of War**

The Chicago Globe was based in an impressive art deco building a mere stone's throw away from Michigan Avenue. Some fine old buildings were interspersed with towering skyscrapers, which held little appeal to Patrick Jane, who eschewed their state of the art facilities in favour of the style and elegance of a more classic environment. With production performed offsite these days, it was perfectly feasible to work out of a suite of offices in a more civilised setting.

The aesthetic of the building with its marbled lobbies, sweeping staircases, and long clean lines marked the apotheosis of a bye gone era, where substance and attention to detail counted for more than crass phallic symbolism. It created the perfect ambience for Jane's idea of a newsroom, where the written word held sway over flashy graphics.

There was a timeless quality to the typeface and format of the Chicago Globe, reflective of the proprietor's own style. Despite the pressures of circulation wars and deadlines, they still put aside time to nurture slow burning stories. Not that Jane was above fighting dirty, and if he could steal a march on the opposition it was an added bonus. It had to be said, there was little love lost between the news barons.

By no means an advocate of the reactive nature of rolling news, nevertheless Jane was forced to pay lip service to the digital era. Although as far as was feasible, the Globe refrained from the collective hyperventilating of the press corps, in response to ill-advised tweets from people who should know better.

The first fire alarm had been declared a hoax, but with the advent of smoke a fresh alarm had been triggered and an evacuation was inevitable.

"Quick we need to get out of here." Lisbon was champing at the bit to make their escape, but Jane held his hand up to still her.

"No think Lisbon, the chances are it's just a decoy, a smoke grenade or something similar set off in the stairwells, designed to cause panic." Jane paused to form a mental map of the facility, processing the layout of the floor and potential exit routes. The bank of central elevators, with their ornate doors, formed the focal point on each floor, and led down to the impressive entrance lobby. Broad sweeping staircases at either end of each floor, led down to the side entrances preferred by those wishing to come and go more discreetly. In addition to this, there were a series of service elevators at the rear of the building. Jane rationalised that the devices would have been set off in the stairwell on one of the lower floors, in the hope of sending everyone tumbling out through the front entrance.

Rather than risk getting waylaid at some side entrance with no one else around, Jane determined that the best course of action was to get Cassie out of the building in plain sight, relying on subterfuge and playing on Cassie's secret assets.

Jane entreated Cassie to get changed as quickly as possible, and briefly outlined the gist of the plan. He returned to his machinations, oblivious to the fact that he was still facing Cassie. It was obvious that this was a carefully planned operation, and that all bases would have been covered, so it was Jane's job to create a diversion, the smoke and mirrors that diverted attention away from the real magic.

"Jeez, Jane show some respect, turn around. This isn't a peep show." Lisbon's voice permeated his thought process.

Jane rolled his eyes, before turning to face the wall, standing alongside Cho. The hint of a mischievous smile played on his lips, as he heard Lisbon busy around helping Cassie disrobe.

Cassie cooed appreciatively at the finely tailored shirts and bespoke suit. "Ooh, Italian silk lining. You're clearly a man of taste Patrick Jane. Shame about the tie though, it clashes with my lipstick. I'm guessing a gift judging by the woeful lack of taste."

Lisbon brusquely passed Cassie a facial wipe at that juncture, to remove the heavy makeup and solve that problem. Her nose wrinkled in annoyance at the sight of Jane sniggering, that tie was one of the first presents she'd ever bought him. Lisbon folded Cassie's clothes away, begrudgingly admiring the athletic form that didn't have a trace of fat in any of the usual places. It was only when Cassie got down to underwear that the penny finally dropped.

"Holy crap, you're a …" Lisbon spluttered embarrassedly.

"Yes darling?" Cassie teased as Lisbon was lost for words.

"Jeez Jane you could have warned me." Lisbon retorted.

Jane was rocking back on his heels in amusement, with his hands in his pockets. He couldn't resist a sly dig. "Honestly Lisbon, can't you control yourself woman? What would the good folk of Peeler's Creek think, if news of this got out?"

Lisbon grunted, thinking if you were rich enough you could get away with most things, judging by Mother's antics. The hired help Chez Pike had been most informative on that score.

By now fully clothed, Cassie put the finishing touches to the look. The wig had been removed to reveal close cropped bleached blond hair that was quickly ruffled into a stylish quiff. Jane's suit hung loosely on Cassie's angular frame, with the trousers pulled in at the waist by one of Jane's belts. The slightest trace of eyeliner was still visible, by accident or design, it all added to a curiously alluring androgynous look.

"Your shoes." Lisbon jerked her head in the direction of the well-worn shoes that Jane had provided.

Cassie's cheeks puffed out in incredulity. "You must be joking darling! These Jimmy Choos cost me a week's wages." Being slightly longer in the leg than Cassie, Jane's trousers all but disguised the vertiginous heels of the offending foot wear, though the tip tap of the stilettos was unmistakable as they ventured out into the marbled corridor.

"Cho, Lisbon just check the way is clear to the main office." Jane wanted a few moments alone with Cassie.

He slipped some documents out of his pocket. "There's a passport and tickets and more than enough money to see you through the next few days. There's a room booked for you at the Hotel Narcissus, the manager will give you everything you need." With a furtive look around at the sound of Cho and Lisbon returning, Jane whispered conspiratorially. "There'll be a taxi waiting outside for you, to take you to the airport, everything is booked in the name Marcus Pike. The fewer people who know your new identity the better, this is strictly hush hush." Jane's whispering didn't go unnoticed by Lisbon, neither did his rather abrupt change of demeanour.

"Cho, can you just escort Cassie to the front entrance. As for you Cinders, time to ditch those rags for something new." Jane added with a twinkle in his eye, relishing Lisbon's look of suspicion.

Putting her pride to one side, Lisbon wished Cassie all the best, appreciating the risks Cassie had run in helping to break this story. Lisbon promised to do her best with the story, to ensure the guilty parties were brought to justice.

Cho guided Cassie down the corridor back to the main office, much to Jane and Lisbon's amusement they saw Cassie swipe Cho's homburg, and don it at a perky angle to complete the ensemble. There was one last cheeky look over the shoulder in their direction, before Cassie disappeared out of sight. They cut an incongruous pairing with Cho's military bearing and Cassie's loose-limbed sashay.

Jane turned his attention back to Lisbon, "Right then, give me your notebook, and take this one instead." Jane passed Lisbon an identical looking notebook and hid the original one away in a drawer for now.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What the hell's going on Jane?"

"Just a little something I prepared earlier, in case of an eventuality like this." Lisbon hated that self-satisfied look on his face.

Lisbon flicked through the pages and a sneaky grin crossed her face, she had to admit it was brilliant. Jane had concocted mock interview notes pointing the finger at various people he'd crossed swords with over the years, including the Mayor's officious PA, who was fingered as the source of the information. There were enough half-truths to make it sound viable, without there being much in the way of hard information. In the event they got rumbled, it would be a smokescreen to deflect attention away from the real story. If it happened to fall into the wrong hands, any half decent hack could put two and two together to make … five.

Jane grabbed Cassie's wig and placed it on Lisbon's head.

"Hey! What d'ya think you're doing? Take that mangy thing off me." Lisbon tried to waft his hands away.

Jane held out Cassie's cape. "It's all in a good cause. We're about to create a diversion Cinders, now come on we have a ball to go to." Finally catching up with Jane's train of thought, Lisbon pulled the cape over her clothes, and straightened the wig.

Jane held her by the shoulders and looked meaningfully into her eyes. "Before we go, just promise me one thing Lisbon."

"What?" Lisbon blinked in expectation of something profound.

"Never go blonde, it really doesn't suit you." Jane's lips pursued in amusement at her crestfallen look, which soon transformed to one of angry indignation.

"Whatever I do or don't do, is none of your concern anymore." Against her better judgement, she snuck a nervous glance at her reflection. Damn him, he was right. She looked completely washed out.

"No time to waste Lisbon, we have a play in motion." Grabbing Lisbon by the hand, before she could offer any resistance, Jane led her to the sweeping staircase. Although some of the smoke had dispersed, visibility was still poor, and Jane kept a tight grip on her as they silently made their way down, listening intently for anyone waiting to ambush them. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but unarmed apart from a pen and notepad they felt vulnerable to attack, especially as they didn't know who was behind it all.

Fortunately, the coast was clear, so they made their way out to the side entrance and cautiously peered out.

"Jane look." Lisbon hissed at the sight of a blonde woman on the corner.

"I am looking Lisbon. Well I'll be damned, so that is what this is all about!" Jane squinted hard to see if anyone else was there, but it was hard to tell from that distance. "Come on." He yanked Lisbon's hand and made his way purposefully toward the main street, where the blonde was standing.

"Now what are you doing? She'll see us." Lisbon chuntered as she followed in his wake.

"That's the whole point of the exercise, we want her to see us. If she wants a story, we've got just the story for her. Just work with me Lisbon, it's time to reel them in." It was also time to settle a few scores.

The blonde in question, glanced in their direction, then put her fingers in her mouth and let loose an ear-piercing whistle. "Quick, get the camera's over here. They're walking straight into our trap."

Conscious that the cameras were trained on them, Jane protectively wrapped his arm around Lisbon and pulled the hood of the cape over her face, "Remember you're supposed to be the mole, we've got to act the part." He ventured an encouraging squeeze of the shoulder.

"Just cut it out Jane, cameras or not, I'll deck you if you do that again." She snarled from under the cape.

 _That's my girl_ , Jane chuckled inwardly. This plan was going better than he could possibly have hoped.

"Why Karen Cross, what brings a nice girl like you to this part of town?"

Immaculate as ever, apart from the customary pair of comfy trainers, Karen didn't waste any time on the niceties. Jane's charm cut no ice with her. "Cut the flannel Jane, we're on to your little game. Rumour has it that you've got an exclusive on the development of the old military site. We know you have inside knowledge, and I'm guessing this is your mole." Karen stepped toward Lisbon, but Jane protectively pulled her tighter to his chest, he grimaced slightly as Lisbon elbowed him in the ribs. Jeez she certainly knew how to hurt a man.

Karen looked on a bit uncertainly; there seemed to be a struggle going on under the cape, reminiscent of a fight in a bag of ferrets. Still fortune favoured the brave, so she lunged in and pulled the hood down to reveal an elfin blonde, who's looked curiously familiar.

"I told you this wouldn't work." Lisbon pushed Jane away unceremoniously.

Quick as a flash Karen whipped off the wig, and pressed her lips together in exasperation at the realisation she'd been outwitted. There was a mean streak to Karen and she wasn't going to take it lying down. She motioned the cameraman over. "My, my, now what do we have here? Patrick Jane and his ex-wife sneaking out like thieves in the night. Rumour has it that a tall dark stranger is waiting in the wings for his ex. I'm sure he'd love to know what you get up to behind his back." Karen winked meaningfully into the camera.

Realising she hadn't given Marcus a second thought, Lisbon felt a sudden pang of guilt. She fumed at Karen's mischief making, just imagining the lurid headlines the Enquirer, or more pertinently its proprietor would run, just to score points against its arch rival. Poor Marcus would be caught in the crossfire, especially once they found out the nature of his business. He would be mortified at being exposed to ridicule, even if he knew there was no basis to it.

Lisbon screwed her fists together in anger. Alright if Cross wanted to pick a fight, Lisbon was more than up for it, then they'd see who'd have the last laugh.

* * *

Once everything had settled down again after the false alarm, Mother had been taken aside into the relative safety of Jane's office, where she was out of harm's way. Sadie fluttered around attentively, assuring Marcus that everything was alright, and that Lisbon would be back in no time.

As a precautionary measure, Scully had been in on Jane's diversionary tactic, and as soon as the coast was clear he intended to pick up the original notebook. In the short-term he steered well clear of that crazy old dame and took refuge at his desk. The alarm went off for a second time and the faint wisps of smoke had started to drift across the newsroom sending everyone into a panic. A few of the more grounded types guessed straight away this wasn't a fire, but a full-scale evacuation had been instigated and there was an unseemly scramble for the elevators.

Alerted by the tip tapping noise from the direction of the stock room, Scully guessed their mole was venturing forth. An old hand in Jane's cons, Scully made sure he didn't draw attention to the new arrivals by staring, trying to keep his eyes at desk level. His eyebrows raised slightly at the sight of the besuited figure's unconventional footwear. He tutted disapprovingly, so much for trying to keep a low profile.

Cho and Cassie tagged seamlessly on to the Pike party, as Sadie elbowed their way to the front of the throng and into the next free elevator. Marcus peered out anxiously looking for some sign of Lisbon. Sadie did her best to provide reassurance. Cassie listened in to the conversation with interest, having picked up on the magic words Marcus and Pike.

 _Oh, Patrick you bad boy_. Cassie wondered what on earth the poor sap had done to cross Jane, and determined to keep well away from the namesakes, as soon as they were clear of the elevator.

Letting the Idaho Pikes make their way to the exit first, Cho kept a watchful eye on the comings and goings. He was caught completely by surprise when Cassie suddenly dipped in and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I guess it's goodbye for now handsome."

He wiped his cheek down furiously, like a kid who'd been kissed by their nuisance little cousin, before responding gruffly. "You look after yourself and don't get into any trouble." Cho realised that the next few minutes were critical, and he followed Cassie out to the taxi rank outside.

Noting that the other Pikes were also waiting for a taxi, Cho realised this had the potential to be tricky.

The sound of shrill raised voices from the corner of the block caused a momentary diversion, as everyone looked round to see what was going on. Marcus was transfixed by the scene, and paid no attention to the kerfuffle nearby when a taxi driver pulled up and yelled "Taxi for Pike."

Marcus Pike only had eyes for the unseemly contretemps taking place at the corner of the building, with two very familiar figures in attendance.

Oddly enough, it had been Jane who was more preoccupied thinking about Marcus than Lisbon. He'd spotted Marcus in the distance, with Sadie hovering in attendance. Everything was falling into Jane's lap, but he couldn't afford to ease off, knowing all was fair in love and war.

Jane's eyes turned cold as he focussed dispassionately on his adversary, recalling the words of Sun Tzu – _Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him._

Little did Jane know how prescient that thought would be, as battle was about to be opened on a second front.

* * *

 **A/N** Just a short update, rather than leave the story for too long.


	5. Chapter 5: A Question of Priorities

**Chapter 5: A Question of Priorities**

 **A/N:** Alas no gift wrapping in sight, and there's a distinct lack of festive bonhomie and goodwill here.

* * *

It had only been the briefest of glances in the opposite direction, but in the twinkling of an eye Ma Pike had pushed Cho out of the way, and made a beeline for the cab. For such a stately woman, Ma Pike had a surprising turn of speed. Cho pressed his lips together in irritation, this was the last thing he needed, but he was completely hamstrung and could only watch for now.

"Excuse me young man, where are your manners? I believe you'll find this cab is mine." The indomitable old dragon asserted her claim, in the manner of someone unused to dissention.

The taxi driver, an unemployed actor with an uncanny resemblance to De Niro, looked over to Cho for guidance, knowing full well who the intended pickup was. Cho gave a barely perceptible shake of the head, to indicate they should wait to see how this played out. In the worst case they could always take another cab, but Cho hadn't taken account of Cassie's dogged nature. Ma Pike had met her match.

Cassie took a firm grip on the door handle and started to open the door. "Actually, I think you'll find this is mine, and unless I'm very much mistaken this cab is going to the airport."

With more than a hint of irritation, the driver nodded in assent. The meter was ticking, and he wanted to get the hell out of there. The cabs were stacking up behind him and it wouldn't belong before they started tooting their horns to tell him to move on. Chicago cabbies weren't known for their patience.

"Are you stupid or just deaf young man? The driver clearly called out Pike, and I'm Imelda Pike of the Idaho Pikes. Now toddle off and find your own cab." Ma Pike tried to waft Cassie out of the way with an imperious flick of the hand.

"Listen Grandma, I don't care whether you are one of the Stillwater Pikes, but where I come from people queue in an orderly fashion, and this cab is taking me to the airport whether you like it or not." Deciding against further explanation, as it seemed unwise to advertise the alias, Cassie gave a firm but determined smile and nipped into the taxi first.

Ma Pike bristled with indignation, no upstart was going to push her around. Before Cassie could close the door, Ma Pike had upended Cassie by the legs and tried to pull Cassie out feet first. Cho was horrified, the last thing they'd wanted to do was draw attention to Cassie and all eyes were now on the crazy woman attacking the guy in stilettos.

Sadie, who'd stuck like a leech to Pike's side throughout proceedings, gave him a quick nudge in the ribs. "Marcus, your Mother."

Pike finally drew his eyes away from Lisbon's antics just long enough to see Mother manhandling a young man. Pike closed his eyes for a second and inhaled deeply, in the vain hope that it was just an illusion that would evaporate in a puff of smoke.

No such luck. Mother was at it again, digging her heels in as she indefatigably strained against the flailing legs. Pike's legendary good humour slipped for a moment "Oh for crying out loud, I only left her alone for a minute."

Cho's face may have looked a picture of inscrutability, but behind the mask his mind was in overdrive. Knowing the best thing was to get them out of the way, he exchanged a knowing look with Sadie, who was there ready to pick up the pieces. Then on cue one of Cho's extras slipped in between between Pike and his mother to obscure Pike's view. Cho knew it was now or never. He stepped forward, hooked his foot in front of Ma Pike's and gave her a short sharp shove in the back to bundle her into the taxi on top of an unsuspecting Cassie. Without further ado Cho slammed the door closed and signalled for the driver to take them away. Cho's Homburg must have fallen off Cassie's head in the furore, and Cho bent down to pick it up and dusted it off before restoring it to its rightful place, taking some solace at being able to cling on to some vestige of order in all the mayhem.

Pike was bobbing up and down trying to see past the immovable object in his way, his last sight of Mother was her jostling with the young man in the back seat of the cab. Pike didn't know whether to jump into the next cab or call the police, but whichever way he turned the way was blocked. Not knowing whether Mother had gone of her own accord, Pike was in a quandary, after all it did look like Mother was more the aggressor than the victim. Deciding it would be fruitless giving chase now, Pike's attention turned back to the original debacle, which was unfurling like a car crash in slow motion.

* * *

Though diminutive in stature, Lisbon had the heart of a lioness and squared up to Cross without a moment's hesitation. A crooked smile formed on Karen's face as Lisbon shrugged off her cape to reveal the book in her hand.

Lisbon raised the book aloft, waving it about. "You're not a reporter, you're just a bottom feeder scavenging the detritus that no one else will touch. When was the last time you wrote anything original that didn't rely on exploiting human weakness or misery? If you think for one moment I'm going to hand over my notes you've got another think coming."

Jane's eyes wrinkled in delight, he'd got his girl back. No more the Stepford Lisbon, this was the real McCoy.

Cross was notoriously thick skinned, caring little what people thought or said. "Oh, can it shorty. I can do whatever I want." She nodded to her crew for backup.

Although the odds were against them, Lisbon wasn't going to give in without a fight. A well-aimed kick had Cross cursing and hopping round on one foot as she rubbed her shin. "Cut those goddammed cameras" She bawled at the camera man, who had caught it on video.

Jane waved a bill in the cameraman's direction, and made a hand signal to keep rolling. Karen never courted popularity with her co-workers, she was the star turn and they were just there to support her, so there was little loyalty to her. The cameraman reciprocated with a quick grin, and started filming again as soon as Cross had turned away.

Grabbing Lisbon by the hair, Karen snarled "You little minx, you really think you're going to get the better of me?"

Lisbon's head was pulled to one side as Karen yanked hard on her hair. There was nothing for it. Whack! The book came down hard on Karen's head.

"I think you'll find I just did." Lisbon gave a toothy grin and stuffed the notebook down her front, she looked strangely deranged with her hair all mussed up and a hole in the knee of her black tights.

Karen lurched forward as the red mist descended, no pip squeak was going to get one over on her. In the maelstrom of arms and legs that ensued, the insults flew back and forward like poisoned barbs. Far from rushing in to intervene, the assembled men watched on, taking an unhealthy pleasure from the fracas. So engrossed were they, that they barely registered the screeching of brakes as a brash yellow sports car pulled up alongside to announce the arrival of one Walter Mashburn.

For all the grudging respect they had for each other, Jane and Mashburn were arch business rivals, and both would do anything to steal a march on the other. As if it wasn't bad enough them competing for the headlines, the rivalry had taken on an added piquancy when Jane had lured Lisbon away from Mashburn's arms. With a bevy of beauties in tow, it wasn't as if Mashburn was wanting for attention, but the one that got away is always the one that hurts the most.

After all, Mashburn was the one supposed to do the loving and leaving, so when Lisbon cast off their brief liaison without a second thought to take up with Jane, it stung Mashburn to the quick. Ok, he'd never promised to be exclusive, but a man had pride and losing out to your oldest rival was a severe dent to the ego.

In truth they were alike in many ways - vain, egotistical, dismissive of conventions and intolerant of fools, but they differed significantly in one respect. While Walter collected wives and girlfriends like an incurable romantic falling in and out of love at the drop of a hat, Jane was essentially a one-woman man. By no means a paragon of virtue, Jane could flirt with the best of them and enjoyed the company of women, especially those who could challenge him. However, on matters of the heart he may be slow to commit, but once his heart was given it was for life. Like a faithful old dog, he never strayed far from the porch.

It perplexed Walter how someone with such obvious appeal to the opposite sex, could appear so disinterested at times. Ever the newsman, Walter's spies had followed Jane around trying to dig some dirt on him, to uncover illicit liaisons of any persuasion, after all his admirers came from all quarters. For all his best efforts Walter hadn't been able to uncover a thing, he just had to accept Jane was built from a different mould.

The day the news had broken that Teresa had walked out on Jane was a cause for celebration at Mashburn Towers, Walter sent a bottle of his finest champagne over to Jane's office with a note _Win Some Lose Some_ _._

The news had taken centre stage in the Enquirer, after all news was news. Jane didn't hold a grudge he understood how these things worked, he was fair game, and would naturally return the compliment covering any new twist in Walter's tangled love life.

So it was they maintained a veneer of civility, despite their bitter rivalry.

"Walter, you old reprobate, what brings you to our neck of the woods?" Jane blithely ignored the elephant in the room, as the two women continued to tussle with each other.

Not to be outdone Mashburn smiled urbanely, as he niftily skipped by the catfight to stand alongside Jane. "Oh, you know Patrick, just thought I'd catch up on things. I must say Teresa's looking rather sparky today." He winced slightly as Cross caught Lisbon square on the jaw, and she staggered back across his path.

Jane contemplated intervening, but Lisbon hated anyone fighting her battles. A trickle of blood was forming on Lisbon's chin from where she'd bitten her lip. She wiped it away with the back of her hand before turning her attention of Mashburn. "You! I should have known you'd turn up like a bad penny. Still peddling lies and gossip to the masses Walter?"

Mashburn grinned and exchanged an amused look with Jane, truth be told both men were slightly hot under the collar; Lisbon's unkempt hair and look of abandon brought back memories of happier times.

Mashburn affected mock outrage. "Oh Teresa, you wound me."

Lisbon just snorted in reply, as she wiped her hair out of her face.

"Anyhow, I thought you were getting married again Teresa? Who's the lucky man?" Walter cast his eyes around theatrically, knowing it was just the two of them. He had to admit it was disconcerting seeing Jane and Lisbon in cahoots again, and if Walter could do anything to scupper any chance of a reunion he would make it a priority.

Catching her breath for a moment, Lisbon cast a wary eye in the direction of Cross in anticipation of a sneak attack. "I'm keeping him well away from you rogues. I've finally found something decent in my life and I intend to hold on to it."

Reassured on that front Walter turned his attention back to the story. "A little bird tells me you've got a scoop Teresa. Whatever Jane's offering I can double it, and my circulation is twice that of the Globe."

Though content to be the puppet master pulling the strings, Jane felt obliged to chip in from time to time. "Don't listen to him Lisbon. His noxious rag won't get through to the people who count, the movers and shakers all subscribe to the Globe."

"In your dreams Patrick." Mashburn mocked. "Why I have those suckers at city hall eating out of my hand. It's amazing what they'll do for a bit of free publicity. So, Teresa name your price. Come join me at the Enquirer for one last throw of the dice."

"You can't afford me Walter; some things aren't for sale." Lisbon stared him out defiantly.

"Oh, everyone has their price Teresa, it's just a question of finding it." Walter's soft tone carried an ominous threat.

"What are we waiting for? Just let me get the goddammed book and get out of here." Karen chipped in impatiently.

Mashburn let out an irritated breath. "There's more than one way to skin a cat Karen. You don't have to bludgeon everything to death. You catch far more with honey than with vinegar. So, what do you say Lisbon? After all, if things don't work out for you, I can always find a place for someone like you."

Jane harrumphed disparagingly. "The trouble with you Walter is you think you know the price of everything, but you know the value of nothing. There's more to this than circulation wars, we're trying to break a story that would prevent a travesty taking place, and all you want to do is wave your wad around to buy a cheap headline. Teresa's better than that, she's not like us. She's got integrity."

"Of course, I'd prefer to play nice for old times sakes." Mashburn cast a sly look in Lisbon's direction. "But even Teresa has her price. I'll ask you one last time Teresa come join us, don't throw your hand in with this loser. After all it wasn't exactly a success last time."

Although she hated being the meat in this particular sandwich, Lisbon had no hesitation in choosing which side she was on. "You're as bad as each other living in the past, but sorry Walter this is the Globe's story and you're not having it."

"Teresa, I really don't want to do this, but just imagine what we might find if we started delving into your fiancé's background. Don't forget mud sticks, especially in a small community." Although Walter knew little of Pike, he had gleaned Pike hailed from small town Idaho.

Lisbon's eyes flashed angrily "You wouldn't dare Walter Mashburn."

"Perhaps, perhaps not, but a damaged reputation is hard to repair." Mashburn responded enigmatically, leaving the threat hanging in the air.

Jane felt a mixture of emotions, on one hand he was angry at Walter's tactics, but on the other hand he was content that his plan was proceeding so smoothly. The secret of all great cons was to manipulate people into thinking the situation was all of their own making. With Marcus now making his way over, it was time for the icing on the cake, Jane decided it was time to ramp things up again.

"Lisbon don't listen to him. It's our story not his. Whatever happens don't let him get his hands on the notebook." He winked at Lisbon, and looked down to the concealed notebook.

Taking her cue from Jane, she whipped out the by now warm notebook, and started waving it in front of Mashburn's nose. "You'll never have this Walter, it's our story. Hell will freeze over before I let this out of my sight."

Mashburn smiled at her righteous anger, and then quick as a flash he just grabbed the notebook and held it aloft, just out of her reach no matter how high she jumped. "Honestly Teresa, it's like taking candy from a baby. Come on Karen we've got a story to write. Tell them to hold the press, we've got a real scoop."

With that Walter jumped into his car and pulled away with Lisbon hurling abuse after him. Jane only had half an eye on proceedings, as he was fixated by Pike's look of consternation at Lisbon's salty turn of phrase.

Still unaware they had company, she turned round to Jane with a grin on her face "I think that all went rather well, they took the bait hook line and sinker."

"A bit overdone at times perhaps, but job done." Jane thought it had gone perfectly, with the added bonus of Pike's arrival.

"Overdone?" Lisbon's face dropped.

"Well it wasn't strictly necessary to tell Cross where to stick those trainers." Jane reeled her in gently.

"No, but did you see her face. We've set them up a treat they'll be a laughing stock when they print that story." Lisbon was completely caught up in the moment, oblivious to the consequences.

For all his amusement, Jane knew there would be some payback. Mashburn wouldn't take this lying down and would be hellbent on revenge, and Lisbon would be in the firing line after her part in proceedings.

Seeing Jane glance over her shoulder, Lisbon turned around to see Pike's look of reproach. He'd obviously seen her in full flow, and her St Teresa image was irrevocably tarnished. Pike slowly looked her over from toe to head, wondering who this wild banshee was.

"Teresa…" He started uncertainly.

Lisbon turned and gave Jane a venomous look that would have made a lesser man wilt, guessing this was all his doing. In fairness Jane was looking suitably contrite, not wanting to overplay his hand at this juncture.

Lisbon realised what a state of disarray she was in, and quickly brushed herself down. "It's not how it looks like Marcus. It was all part of a scam to divert attention away from our mole to give them a clear run to escape."

Lisbon took a few steps towards Pike, but he stepped back with a look of distaste like she was some street urchin. "We had to make sure they didn't get to the story before we have time to publish."

Marcus looked unconvinced. "What does it matter who publishes the story, so long as it's made public?"

"But it's our story Marcus, not theirs." Lisbon knew that was the wrong answer the moment it left her lips.

"Yes, and that's the crux of the matter isn't it. It's all about the glory and the paper, not just the story. It's OK if everything gets trampled on, so long as you get the story. My mother has absconded with some crazy guy in stilettos, to God knows where, and all you're interested in is your story. I'm beginning to think I hardly know you, maybe Mother was right after all." Marcus spoke more in sadness than anger, his disappointment was palpable.

Lisbon tried to grab his arm "Whatever's happened we'll fix it. Won't we Jane?"

"Of course we will." Jane was more worried about Cassie at this stage, but it seemed their interests were presently aligned.

Pike looked disparagingly at Jane. "I think we can do without your help. You've done nothing but manipulate the situation since we arrived. I'm off to the police. Someone needs to find my mother."

Jane put out a hand to stop Lisbon – "Let him go, it will do more harm than good to follow him."

Lisbon doubted his credentials as an honest broker in this matter, but her instincts told her he was right. If they could find out what had happened to Ma Pike before Marcus did, she may yet be able to salvage the situation. In the meantime, she had an exposé to write, everything really would all be in vain if the story wasn't published.


	6. Chapter 6 : Crossing the Rubicon

**Chapter 6: Crossing the Rubicon**

For all Karen Cross was an effective operator, she'd never be Mashburn's companion of choice. Mashburn largely tolerated her, and was getting distinctly irritated by her crowing over The Globe on the short trip back to the Enquirer. Nevertheless, some of her wittering permeated his thought processes, and his eyes started to narrow suspiciously.

"What do you mean they walked straight into your trap?" His head turned sharply to look at her.

Karen didn't pick up on Mashburn's sudden change of tone, his initial jubilation had soon worn off. "Like lambs to the slaughter, they just came straight to us."

Walter frowned as he swung his car into the carpark, he'd been in enough buildings like the one that housed the Globe to know that there was always a service entrance, and if they'd been hell bent on escaping, surely a wily operator like Patrick Jane would have chosen that option. Come to think of it, why the hell would Lisbon be openly carrying her notebook in the first place? And why on earth was Lisbon wearing a wig? This just didn't feel right– it was almost as if they wanted to be caught.

Like a bad smell, Karen followed Walter into his office, she was champing at the bit in impatience, ready to jump in feet first. Studiously ignoring her, Walter picked up his phone and called his security man Drucker. "Garth, I've got a job for you. Check out the CCTV footage for the last couple of hours on East Side by the Globe, see if you can see anything suspicious. We're looking for a blond wearing a cape, possibly with one of Jane's known associates. It may be something or nothing but it's worth a try."

Drucker sifted through his ID cards until he found the right one. It always paid to have options when working with these crazy rich people, you never knew when a quick exit would be required. Fortunately, he already had well established links at various establishments around the Globe; it wasn't the first time he'd been asked to keep tabs on Patrick Jane's crew.

Karen was looking more and more perplexed, from the little she'd read of the notebook it seemed like dynamite. "What are we waiting for boss? Shall I do something straight to screen or do you want to save it for print?"

"We're doing nothing yet, just pass me the book, I want a good look through it." Mashburn just flicked through the pages without reading at first. To an untrained eye this would look perfect, but Mashburn was familiar with Lisbon's slightly idiosyncratic way of taking notes. Whoever had written this, he was pretty sure it wasn't Teresa Lisbon. He started to read the text, and his face broke out into a broad smile. Why you son of a gun Patrick Jane, this was almost perfect. Except Walter happened to have the low down on some of the people in question, and was pretty sure the allegations were flimsy at best, especially as Walter had far more incriminating material on them if he chose to use it.

Mashburn's admiration for the con, almost wiped out any anger at being duped, but what the hell were Teresa and Patrick up to? There was a real story in here, just not the one they'd been handed on a plate.

Mashburn flung the book on the table, and looked up at Cross in anticipation at her reaction. "It's a fake, a con. We're not running it."

"What do you mean we're not running it? Do you know how hard I had to fight to get it?" Karen glared at him as if he were mad.

"If they'd wanted to keep it a secret do you seriously think they'd be carrying it around with them? No this is a decoy to divert the attention of whoever got hold of it." Walter's mind was in overdrive now as he mentally weighed up the possibilities. "Maybe the book wasn't specifically intended for us, but we were just the first on the scene."

"Nah! You should have seen how hard Lisbon fought to keep it." Karen protested.

"And what did Jane do? If they'd really wanted to protect it, don't you think he'd have weighed into the melee. No Karen, I'm afraid all your scratches and bruises were in vain." Walter took more than a smidgeon of satisfaction in seeing Karen brought down to earth.

Karen regrouped quickly, still convinced that she had a real scoop. "I'm telling you this story is real, and if you think I'm going to let this go you've got another think coming."

Walter raised an eyebrow and dipped his chin slightly before calmly responding. "That sounds suspiciously like a threat. Watch my lips the Enquirer will _not_ be covering this story, so just can it."

"Very well, I'll take it somewhere else. I guess this is goodbye then." Karen turned on her heel. She never stayed anywhere long and always managed to land on her feet. With a headline busting story like this, there'd be no shortages of offers.

For all his chutzpah, Walter knew the value of checking the proverbial gift horse's mouth, and he had no intention of letting the Globe make a laughing stock of the Enquirer. From now on his undercover agents would be tracking Jane and Lisbon's every move. One way or another Walter would get to the bottom of this, and his newshound instincts told him the real story would be well worth waiting for.

* * *

In the meantime, Jane had made a beeline for Cho to establish exactly what had gone down. For all his concern for Cassie, Jane couldn't resist a chuckle at Cho and Sadie's account of events. "So, the driver definitely delivered them to the airport?"

Failing to see the humour in the situation, Cho responded in his usual deadpan style. "Apparently Mrs Pike had an epiphany on the way to the airport and insisted on going too. Cassie tried to shake her off in the airport, but the last thing that Bob the driver saw, was Cassie running across the concourse to the booking in desk, with the old lady in fast pursuit. My contact at the airport confirmed that two Pikes boarded the plane."

"Umm, so with stops they should there in around twelve hours or so. Good, that buys us some time. Sadie contact the hotel to let them know there's two of them, and get the manager to call me as soon as they arrive." Jane paused thoughtfully. "I don't suppose there was any interference at the airport?"

"No, they were running late and went straight through to the departure lounge." Cho's driver was pretty sure they hadn't been followed, so it looked like they'd had a clean escape.

The only fly in the ointment was Pike; if he started raising Cain at the police station, news would soon leak out. Jane leaned over to Cho and whispered conspiratorially. "You know when you did the switch in the restaurant, did you change _everything_?"

Cho nodded in confirmation, loathe to say too much in front of Sadie, who was conflicted on this issue, having a foot in both camps.

Content that his plans were still intact, despite this little hiccup, Jane ventured back to his office where Lisbon was busy typing up her story. The magic of the moment had dissipated, and Lisbon had plummeted back to earth with a thump. She just held up her hand to still him as he came in, wary of being bamboozled into being part of some other crazy scheme. "Just don't say a word. I'm out of here as soon as I've written this story up. Marcus needs me."

Jane was pretty sure Sadie had got everything covered on that front, but no need to upset Lisbon further.

* * *

If Cassie were perfectly honest, the taxi journey was all a bit hazy if not to say a tad surreal. One minute the old broad had been dumped on top of Cassie, and then the next minute they were travelling out to Venezuela together. It was like one of those hallucinatory dream sequences full of corny psycho-analytical metaphors, with Salvador Dali imagery and accompanied by discordant avantgarde music. Where no sooner than you can say abracadabra, the whole course of your life is irrevocably transformed by the random three-legged dog crossing your path. True Cassie's father had been a distant speck on the horizon, and Cassie's mother had struggled to cope with the gender issues, but who in their right mind would have thought that an embittered old harridan was going do anything but make the situation worse? After all, Ma Pike was hardly over flowing with the milk of human kindness. And yet for some crazy reason it worked. It transpired that Ma Pike was just as desperate for adventure as Cassie was for escape. The minute she'd spotted her name on the group booking to Venezuela there was no stopping her.

Ma looked on it as an escape from her humdrum life, and her soon to be married offspring. With a new wife in the offing, the writing was on the wall, it was a one-way ticket to the retirement home with ever decreasing visits. A few drinks on the plane had loosened her up, and she waved goodbye to Spudsville without a second thought.

Cassie's eyebrows raised disapprovingly as Ma called for another Pina Colada, barely stopping for breath as she knocked the drink back and devoured the cherry, before sliding down the chair into a contented slumber. Cassie carefully rearranged her into a more ladylike pose, perhaps a packed airliner wasn't the best place to start shedding your inhibitions.

Cassie began to contemplate the advantages of a travelling companion, after all who'd be looking for a fugitive who travelled with Mummy. Even if Mummy did need the occasional slap to curb her wandering hands.

Forewarned by Jane, the hotel had upgraded them to a suite on arrival. Still feeling the effects of the Pina Coladas, Ma needed helping to the room, and Cassie acted the dutiful son in front of the staff before dumping her unceremoniously on the bed, as soon as the door was closed.

Free at last, Cassie flung open the balcony doors to take in the vibrant atmosphere of the beach resort, that was just outside Caracas. The music from the street cafes was just about audible, Cassie managed a wry smile as she caught the refrain from La Vida Loca drifting up – it certainly was a crazy life, though Ricky Martin didn't know the half of it.

* * *

Marcus had fully intended to find the nearest police precinct, but had envisaged he'd make it under his own steam. He had no idea what had happened, after a quick stop at the Hotel to check Mother hadn't returned, he'd been accused of using counterfeit bills to pay the taxi driver, and before he could say Jiminy Cricket, Marcus Pike Junior, late of Idaho, found himself in the police cells at the 18th District Police Department. He'd protested his innocence saying someone must have passed a dodgy bill to him, but on examination it appeared his wallet was full of counterfeit bills.

For all his misgivings, Pike naturally turned to Teresa for help, but his calls were going straight to answer phone. He didn't want to contact his family attorney, for fear of news getting back to the Peelers Creek community, so in desperation he put his call in to Sadie. At least he had someone he could fall back on in this crazy world and she didn't disappoint. If only Teresa were more like Sadie at times ….

Now Sadie was a foxy lady, and knew the best way to make a move on Marcus, was to let things run their natural course with Lisbon. So, she duly reported back to Jane and Lisbon, and it didn't take long for Lisbon to remember the incident at the restaurant and put two and two together.

"Why you double crossing, manipulative jerk, you've been driving this from the moment I walked into your office." Lisbon's green eyes flashed in anger.

Jane had to own that, but it was time Lisbon faced some home truths. "So exactly why did you come to see me in the first place? You could have just phoned to break the good news. Perhaps deep down you were waiting to be rescued from the prospect of eternal boredom.

"After all leopards don't change their spots Lisbon, you are what you are, and you're just not cut out for that sort of life. Just imagine the future, stepping into Ma's shoes as the figurehead of Tessie's Taters, raising the little chips off the old block, in between hosting potato conventions. Do you really want to be remembered for contributing to the obesity epidemic with your very own Tessie's tubbies, when you could be making a real difference to people's lives through your writing?"

Lisbon refused to engage with his comments on her future life, knowing deep down he was right. "Can't you understand that for once in my life I wanted to be treated with a spark of decency and not feel cheap and tawdry?"

She'd convinced herself that a home and a family would compensate for everything she'd be giving up. However, the doubts had been starting to creep in once she saw the two of them side by side. Lisbon couldn't help but wonder whether Marcus' solid dependability was an adequate substitute for Jane's dynamism and wit, but she was damned if she was going to admit that to Jane.

Lisbon saved her work and turned to face Jane. "There it's almost done, you're perfectly capable of finishing it off. You're the best writer here, despite what you say. I'm off now, Marcus needs me. Goodbye Jane." With a steely determination she walked out of the door.

Jane called Scully through. "If Lisbon and I aren't back within the hour, have a quick read through Lisbon's story. Finish it off with the usual blurb about the Globe fighting for the rights of the ordinary Joe in the face of institutional corruption. You're an old hand at this, you know what to do."

Jane grabbed his jacket and followed Lisbon down to the entrance lobby, where he found her frantically searching for her phone, which he'd surreptitiously lifted from her bag when she wasn't looking.

"Ah so glad I found you, this must have fallen out of your bag." Jane handed Lisbon her phone.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, knowing full well this was no accident. "Whatever you're doing just stop it right now. I'm telling you Jane we're finished now, there's nothing you can do to change that."

At that moment two men in black suits approached them from across the foyer. Jane could smell a security agent a mile off, this spelled trouble. "Quick Lisbon, make yourself scare. You don't want to be involved in this."

Jane walked toward them allowing Lisbon the chance to drop out of sight. "Patrick Jane, we are arresting you on the grounds of National Security."

Jane knew his rights; under the first amendment the press must be left free to publish news, whatever the source, without censorship, injunctions, or prior restraints. Only a free and unrestrained press could effectively expose deception in government. In return the press generally exercised some restraint on classified information, only publishing what was strictly pertinent to the story.

Some arms of the security services still liked to try their luck occasionally, if only to intimidate the press. Jane knew they couldn't detain him, but was interested to know what they hoped to achieve. He exchanged a fleeting look with Lisbon who had been taking it all in from the shadows, he knew she had to make a choice at this point and wasn't entirely sure which way that would go.

As if he really needed to worry, Lisbon's press hackles were raised by the infringement of Jane's rights. "God, I really hate you at times Patrick Jane." With a heavy heart she called Sadie. "Look Jane's in trouble, I'm coming back up. Can you go down to the precinct and bail Marcus out for me?"

Sadie could barely contain her excitement, she knew that Lisbon had crossed the Rubicon now. As much as Lisbon might try, there was no going back now. Choosing to save your ex over your fiancé was damning whatever the reason.

Lisbon screwed up her courage and strode through the press room head held high. "Scully where's that story I started? There have been some developments, we have some breaking news Patrick Jane has just been arrested."


	7. Chapter 7 : Mad as Hatters

**Chapter 7 : Mad as Hatters**

Although the last 24 hours were a bit hazy and Ma Pike's head was distinctly fuzzy, she woke up feeling infinitely more relaxed than she'd done for years. She stretched out languidly on the strange bed, taking in the clean lines and vibrant colours of her surroundings. Her eyes traversed the room until they alighted on the tall blond stranger who was propping up the doorframe.

"Hello handsome." She hoped that thought hadn't been verbalised - if this was a dream Ma had certainly landed on her feet.

"Enough of that, it's time to get you up and respectable _Mummy dearest_. We don't want everyone thinking you're an old soak." Cassie's response was laced with sarcasm. While Ma had been enjoying the slumbers of the innocent, Cassie had been casing out the hotel and its surroundings.

Unused to being spoken to in anything but deferential tones, Ma was about to take issue with her disrespectful companion, until she looked out of the window and saw soft clouds billowing by in an azure sky, and all her anger melted away. Life was too short to stand on ceremony; Ma was going to start living a bit. Her cold weather attire was hot and scratchy, and she realised neither of them possessed a change of clothes. Cassie had carefully rolled up the long sleeves of the shirt and had left the top button open, but it was hard to look casual in Jane's dress suit.

The hotel lobby boasted a shop selling beach wear, which would tide them over until they had time to hit the shops properly. Cassie had to admit the old broad brushed up quite well. Without her Spanx and corsetry to make her miserable, Ma was happy to let it all hang loose in a tropical dress that instantly stamped her out as a tourist. None of the locals would be seen dead in anything so garish. A pair of oversized shades and some tacky jewellery completed the look. Preferring to try and cultivate an air of respectability for now at any rate, Cassie opted for a more refined look with Bermuda shorts and a plain white Tee. There was no point drawing attention to themselves until they were sure they coast was clear. In the short-term Cassie was content to assume the role of dutiful offspring, there'd be plenty of time for partying later.

* * *

Marcus hung his head in shame. Oh, the ignominy of it all, being held in police cells. Although the accusations were baseless, he didn't want news of this getting back home. The Country Club would take a dim view of one of their senior members getting on the wrong side of the law. He'd seen how they dealt with people who didn't live up to their high standards. One minute you were top of the pile, the next you were persona non-grata, effectively ostracised by your peers.

Marcus looked up at the sound of footsteps on the concrete floor. The security guard unlocked the cell door with a peremptory grunt, and shuffled back down the corridor. Someone had posted bail, surely it had to be Teresa? Feeling a bit more hopeful at that thought, Marcus collected his belongings from the desk sergeant and stepped out into the crisp sunshine with a spring in his step. His hopes were dashed when Teresa was nowhere to be seen. A horn tooted from over the road, and a dark-haired woman waved at him from the taxi parked opposite. Marcus squinted to focus as he crossed the road, but it was only when he got closer that he realised it was Sadie not Teresa.

Sadie had registered the look of disappointment on his face, but hey this was a work in progress. "Thanks Sadie." Marcus managed a weak smile as he got into the back of the taxi.

Sadie picked her words carefully. "Lisbon was on her way over here, when Jane got detained by some G-Men. Despite that the paper is still running the story, and Lisbon had to write an editorial on press freedom. It all happened so quickly, so she asked me bail you out."

Marcus looked distinctly unimpressed, unable to appreciate the bigger picture after being deserted in his hour of need.

Sadie squeezed his hand tentatively. "Gee honey, she'd have come if she could have done."

Marcus wasn't convinced, but was too much of a gentleman to criticise Lisbon in front of anyone else. He'd seen a different side to Teresa these last few days and wasn't entirely sure he liked it. He'd never understood the need to see her ex face to face, they were divorced for heaven's sake, and she owed him nothing. They seemed mighty close when Pike wandered over to them, and a mean-spirited part of him wondered if Teresa was weighing up her options, playing one off against another.

When he saw her in action in the newsroom with her hair scrapped back and issuing orders, it was clear she was in her element. It only reinforced his doubts; career opportunities would be few and far between in Peelers Creek - was she really ready to give all this up to be a wife and mother?

The only time the press barons ever joined forces was when their freedom was under attack. Lisbon's headline piece made a compelling case for freedom of speech, before leading on to the actual story.

The other papers made rousing cases for editorial freedom in the face of state intimidation. Predictably, the Enquirer accompanied their headline with an unflattering picture of a blond man being dragged away. Needless to say, it wasn't Jane but why let the truth get in the way of a good headline?

Lisbon looked up warily as Sadie guided Marcus over to her; the furrow between his eyebrows betrayed his sense of hurt. Lisbon chewed on her bottom lip nervously as she formulated a response. Rather than make Marcus walk over to her, she decided it was politic to meet him half way. With a forced smile she tried to give him a hug, but felt him stiffen awkwardly under her embrace.

"Marcus, I'm so sorry." Before Lisbon could get any further the elevator pinged, and Jane stepped triumphantly out of the lift. The newsroom stood and cheered loudly, and he milked their applause as he walked through the office. Although his look hadn't lingered long on Lisbon, he'd already noted Pike's presence.

Pike's eyes switched between Lisbon and Jane; the animated way her eyes danced as she watched Jane approach told Pike everything he needed to know. Being a well-bred man Pike wasn't going to make a scene in front of a group of strangers, but he knew that the writing was on the wall. He'd wait to see if Jane could shed some light on Mother's disappearance, but that was it.

Scully briefly conferred with Jane, it appeared that the authorities had got wind of Cassie and were determined to nail the whistle-blower. They'd been particularly interested in what Jane knew of the military site. Jane only knew what was in the public domain, but their questions had whetted his appetite to investigate further. There was something they were desperate to hide, but that could wait for another day.

The immediate concern was to warn Cassie and make sure no one got wind of their whereabouts, which wasn't so easy with Ma Pike gate crashing the party.

Jane nonchalantly made his way over and motioned Pike and Lisbon into his office, joining them as soon as he'd arranged for Sadie to contact the Manager of the Hotel Narcissus. Deliberately avoiding Lisbon's eye, Jane concentrated all his attention on Marcus. "We've located your mother in a hotel by Caracas. She's absolutely fine and having a rather good time from what I've been told." Jane had despatched Cho out to Venezuela, where he was keeping an eye on things from a distance.

"What the hell is she doing in Caracas?" Marcus was bewildered, Mother was never one for the heat with her pale complexion.

"After the misunderstanding at the taxi stand, it appears she took quite a shine to our mole and insisted on going to Venezuela." Jane thought it best to gloss over the detail with the tickets, not wishing to implicate himself further.

Pike's response was predictable. "Where's she staying? I must go to her."

Jane winced slightly, that was the last thing they wanted. There would be agents monitoring their every move, just waiting to pounce. For all the diplomatic conventions, if a young American like Cassie were to quietly disappear in Caracas few questions would be asked. It would be all too easy for the spooks to repatriate Cassie, without going through diplomatic channels.

Lisbon gave Marcus' arm a gentle squeeze of encouragement, Jane couldn't help but notice how quickly Marcus moved his arm away. Lisbon's expression was a mix of hurt and annoyance, her eyes darted round the room in embarrassment, not wanting to catch Jane's ever watchful eye. Jane let her be for now, things were progressing nicely, no need to add fuel to the fire.

Sadie tapped on the door to let them know the connection was ready. The main screen on Jane's wall flickered briefly, before switching to a poolside location with two people sipping long cool glasses of Tizana. Cassie had clearly thrown caution to wind at this stage, and was wearing a fetching little off the shoulder number and bright red lipstick.

"Mother?" Pike started falteringly.

Ma and Cassie waved frantically at the cameras, Jane guessed the Tizanas had been flowing freely that morning. Ma was sporting conspicuous white strap marks, which contrasted vividly with her lobster red skin, but there was something even stranger about her … she was smiling.

"Mother, what are you doing?" Pike's tone was sharper than intended.

"I'm living, having a bit of fun – you should try it Marcus." Ma laughed with gay abandon and cosied up to Cassie.

Marcus bristled as his eyes roved over the creature at mother's side. On an intellectual level Marcus was as open minded as the next man, but he drew a line where his mother was concerned. "You've had your fun now Mother. I'm coming to fetch you, it's time to come home."

"Oh, Marcus don't be such a prude." Ma shimmied her shoulders and threw her head back. "It's time to party. They're playing our tune." Ma grabbed Cassie by the hand and they both shot out of sight, leaving the onlookers staring at empty chairs and glasses.

Lisbon tried her best to look solicitous, hiding her amazement at Ma's transformation – Hell, she was almost likeable now. "It's just the heat gone to her head Marcus, she'll be fine."

Pike's head shot round angrily. "That's easy for you to say, it's not your mother shaking her maracas in Caracas."

Jane tried to defuse the situation, assuring Marcus he already had a man on the ground.

Pike looked incredulously at Jane. "This is all your doing. Do you seriously think I'd trust you to sort this out? I'm catching the next plane out to Caracas to rescue my mother."

Jane ruefully thought that might be difficult with all his credit cards cancelled, but didn't want to admit he knew about that. He held his hand up. "Sadie's already on the case finding the next available flight." Jane guessed the Globe would have to stump up for Pike's fare and accommodation.

* * *

Karen had just been on the verge of securing a deal for her scoop, when the news broke of Patrick Jane's arrest. Suddenly no one was interested in Karen's story. To make sure they weren't upstaged, the Globe had broken the real story on their website. Karen paled as she read it. Damn it. Mashburn was right they'd sold her a dummy. Thankful for small mercies, at least she hadn't gone public with the story, but she was still jobless having burned her boats with the Enquirer. She seethed with resentment, this was the last time Patrick Jane was going to make a fool of her.

Mashburn meanwhile had adopted a more clinical strategy, not letting emotion blur his thinking. He knew success was all down to planning and Mashburn was marshalling his forces, with Drucker using his contacts to find out the truth. Sure enough, Cho had been spotted escorting an unusually tall woman in a cape into the side entrance of the Globe. Like Jane, Mashburn was capable of examining things with forensic detail, picking up on things that other people would miss.

He switched to the footage of the disturbance at the taxi rank, and homed in on the footwear. A smile broke out on his face, it was obvious that the person under the cape was the very same person involved in the altercation. He thoughtfully tapped on his chin, before addressing Drucker. "So, what do we know about the blond?"

Drucker glanced down at his phone. To bring up the details. "Casey Logan, 30 years old, no known family. Worked at city hall for the past 18 months."

Mashburn didn't need to know anything else, it was obvious this was their mole. The Enquirer may have missed out on the scoop, but they could at least reveal the identity of the mole. "Do we know where the taxi went?"

Drucker knew that Maloney's was the meeting place for off duty drivers. A few drinks had loosened Bob's tongue, and he'd regaled his fellow drivers with the full story of his crazy passengers. Drucker had taken it all in and gone straight to the airport, where the pert redhead he'd dated a few times, was able to confirm that the unlikely pair had boarded a flight to Caracas. Once the identity of the matron had been confirmed it was a piece of cake, they just had to keep tabs on her son. Sooner or later he'd use his mobile phone to try and contact his mother. It may not be legal, but phone tapping saved a lot of leg work, and they'd soon know where the pair were holed up.

Mashburn reached for his passport and grabbed the go to bag that he kept on hand for unexpected trips. "Call me as soon as you know anything. Caracas here I come."

* * *

It hadn't taken long for Cassie and Ma to find a common love in retail therapy. When Ma found Cassie lingering over the dresses in preference to the menswear, she'd started to have her suspicions. Cassie looked guiltily at her. "I'm not like other men…"

Ma just shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well, no one's perfect. Now, that little flared one would suit you."

Cassie's nose wrinkled. "I was thinking of something a bit more tailored." There was no excuse for bad taste wherever you were.

So it was that the odd couple bonded, and became the very best of friends. They perched on their barstools, waspishly making observations on the passers-by. Ma looked appreciatively at the silver fox seated opposite. "Now that's what I call a man."

Cassie dismissed him out of hand, seeing the ring on his left hand. "Oh, Imelda you need to get your eyes tested, he's clearly taken."

Cassie's eyes drifted across the bar to where a tall dark stranger was sipping an Americano. "Now that's something I could get my teeth into."

Ma hummed approvingly. "Umm. Don't you think he might be a bit too old for you?"

Cassie shrugged. "I think he could pick anyone he wanted. Quick smile, he's looking over here."

Mashburn tipped his empty cup at the ladies with a smile, before tossing a few notes on the table and leaving. It wouldn't pay to get too close to them until he had an idea of the bigger picture.

"Win some, lose some." Ma shrugged philosophically then suddenly tensed up. "Uh Oh! Here comes the cavalry, Marcus just can't leave well alone."

Marcus broke out into a trot when he spotted Ma. Jane and Lisbon, who'd travelled on the same flight, just let him go on ahead. Jane was relying on Pike's innate good manners preventing him from causing a scene, and drawing unwanted attention to them.

Ma's face had assumed its old imperious look, though the effect was somewhat undermined by the oversized pineapple earrings that swung like pendulums every time she moved her head. She took a quick slurp of her drink for fortification. "Marcus fancy seeing you here."

"Mother. You know why I'm here, I've come to take you home." Marcus replied stiffly.

"I'm quite capable of making my own mind up Marcus and I assure you I'm going nowhere." Ma had no intention of being consigned to some genteel retirement home while she still had a bit of spark left in her. She fully intended to grow old disgracefully.

Marcus passed a withering look over Cassie. "What are you some sort of gigolo that preys on vulnerable women?"

Cassie stood up, and smoothed the dress down before eyeballing Marcus. "What I am is no business of yours, sunshine. Now hop along and leave your mother in peace." Cassie's lifestyle had attracted enough adverse attention over the years, for Cassie to know the basics of self-defence. If Marcus wanted a fight, Cassie was more than able to oblige.

Jane and Lisbon watched from the distance, knowing better than to intrude on the situation. Marcus pressed his lips together angrily. "I'll be in room 411 Mother, I'll catch up with you when you've come to your senses."

Lisbon went to follow him, but Jane shook his head. "He's got a lot to take in, just give him some space." His rival may have been vanquished, but Jane had no wish to see him humiliated.

Jane ambled over to Cassie. "Nice outfit, what happened to the Jimmy Choo's?"

Cassie didn't blink an eye at his appearance. "The sidewalks round here are a death trap darling."

Jane admired Cassie's poise, and wasn't looking forward to breaking bad news. "I think we're going to have to re-locate you, the feds are determined to make an example of you."

Cassie frowned. "I thought I'd be safe here without an extradition treaty in place."

"Technically you are, but a lot of people are looking for you, and it won't take them long to locate you. We need to get you somewhere quiet, away from the gaze of publicity until it all dies down. Come a certain point they'll let it drop, they won't want to draw attention to their own ineptitude." Jane knew that put paid to any future stories, but he was duty bound to keep Cassie safe.

Jane looked around cautiously to check they couldn't be overheard, then leant in to talk quietly. "There's a small island called Isla Margarita, we can rent you a villa there and you can just disappear for a while. We've set up a new ID for you in the name Lee Palmer, and we'll sort out some bank accounts to keep you going, they're not so strict on money laundering over here."

A small island sounded like Cassie's idea of hell. "But what about Imelda? I can't leave her."

That was an unexpected twist. Jane looked at Ma cautiously. "I'm sure Mrs Pike would only want the best for you."

"I'm going with Cassie. Meet the new Mrs Palmer, I'm sure you can sort out the rest." Ma wasn't ready to give up her newly acquired freedom.

"Ok, but we need to move swiftly, you can't tell anyone not even Marcus. Do you understand? We'll tell everyone that you've gone on a world cruise, and will service a Facebook page on your behalf, making posts from exotic locations." Jane wasn't entirely comfortable with the arrangement, but Cassie's safety was paramount.

* * *

Cho had already made all the arrangements, he'd sneak them out in a laundry basket, it would be hours until anyone knew they were missing. Cassie had spotted a stiff figure in a Panama standing guard by the lido, sipping nothing stronger than water. Although Cassie hadn't made the connection at the time, in retrospect it was obvious who it had been. When the tap came on the door Cassie and Ma were all packed and ready to go.

"Laundry." A familiar voice called out.

Cassie opened the door with a flourish, laughing at Cho's housekeeping uniform. "Well if it isn't Widow Twankey."

Cho gave Cassie a blank look and wheeled the first laundry basket in. He took a quick look outside the door and then quickly pulled in the second one. Cho and Cassie helped Ma into the first basket, and Cassie solicitously placed a sheet over her before closing the basket with a few comforting words. Cassie grinned at Cho, "I guess it's farewell for now then handsome."

Cho shuffled awkwardly. "You can't say a word once we leave this room, until I give you the all clear. Is that understood?"

Cassie put a finger on the lips. "Hush, Hush. Mum's the word."

Cho's lips twitched involuntarily. "Just so long as you understand."

"Hasta la vista baby." Cassie disappeared into the laundry basket, like a genie in a bottle.

* * *

Jane and Lisbon took it in turns to stay in the suite, ordering room service to create the impression that the Pikes were still around. Lisbon wasn't comfortable playing house with Jane, so she made an excuse to get some fresh air and wandered down to the bar for a coffee. She'd half hoped to see Marcus, but knew this twist in the tale would be the final nail in the coffin of their courtship. Lisbon knew that Marcus had to be kept in the dark until Ma and Cassie were safely ensconced in their new abode. As she thoughtfully sipped her coffee she recognised the profile of a familiar face and quickly dipped down out of view. Crap it was Walter, she slipped away as discreetly as she could, keeping to the shadows until she was well out of view. The man Walter was talking to, pointed to where she'd just been sitting. Lisbon dipped into the nearest doorway as Walter's eyes searched the area.

Lisbon quickly made her way to the Pike suite and let herself in with her key card, only to find Jane sunning himself on the balcony as if he hadn't got a care in the world. Recognising the light footfall Jane never blinked an eyelid, when Lisbon came rushing out to the balcony. Still feigning sleep Jane could tell from her breathing that she'd been in a hurry, her patience finally snapped, and she kicked the sun lounger. "Jane wake up. Mashburn's here."

Jane's heavy lids blinked blearily as they adjusted to the light. "Calm down Lisbon. Now start again."

If there is anything guaranteed to wind up someone, it is telling them to calm down. Lisbon huffed and stomped away to the sofa. Jane swung his legs over the side of the lounger and risked a quick look at her angry face. He looked own at his feet unable to hide a smile, angry Lisbon had always been one of his favourites.

Jane nonchalantly wandered over to pour a glass of water and stood with his back to her, listening to her frustration building by the unevenness of her breathing. "So, Walter's finally made it to the party. I don't suppose we ought to be surprised. The question is what is he going to do next?"

They didn't have to wait long, before a tap at the door announced room service.

"Come on in Walter." Jane shouted.

A disgruntled looking Mashburn walked in and glared at Jane. A quick glance around the suite confirmed the Pike party had left. "I suppose you think you're clever, don't you? I'll find them no matter where they're hiding."

Sadly, Jane guessed that was true, and decided to appeal to Walter's better instincts about the importance of papers protecting their sources. Lisbon chipped in, reminding Walter how often they could have blown the identity of his sources if they had chosen to. It was like honour among thieves, there were some things you just didn't do to each other.

Begrudgingly Mashburn accepted their arguments and added philosophically. "Well now that we're here, I suppose we ought to make the best of it. You owe me a drink Jane, I'll catch up with you later."

* * *

Jane was sitting on a bar stool nursing a drink, wondering why he felt so low when he had triumphed so comprehensively. He has won every battle except the one that mattered the most to him. Relations with Teresa were still strained. For all he celebrated the end of the Pike era, he realised they were no closer to a reconciliation. After showing Teresa how much she'd missed the news environment, he'd hoped she'd return to the fold. However, he knew Teresa was no pushover, she'd turned her back on it all once and he realised she could do it again.

The most confident of men in normal circumstances, he found himself tongue tied and unable to communicate with Lisbon now that the story was in the bag, and Jane had little confidence he was going to win her round.

He was lost in his thoughts, when he heard the bar stool scrape on the floor and Walter sat alongside him. He wasn't supposed to be buying, but Jane was miles away. "Another drink for the man and I'll have a cold beer." Walter eyed Jane up speculatively. "I'd have thought you and Lisbon would be painting the town red to celebrate your triumph." Walter spoke without rancour, there were winners and losers and hopefully next time he'd be on the winning side.

"Meh, winning is not all it's cracked up to be." Jane sloshed his drink around before taking a swig.

"Not like you to be so morose Patrick, especially now Teresa appears to be unattached again." Walter eyed Jane up and realised where the problem lay. "Oh, you've got it bad my friend, but you expect Teresa to come running back to you without lifting a finger to show her you've changed. All you've done is reinforce how ruthless you are when you want to get something, and show that present company excepted, you're the cleverest person in the room. She knows all that already and still walked away from it all. You need to show her that you've really changed, otherwise my friend she'll walk away again. And speaking of the lady in question, here she comes."

Walter stood up and moved to the next stool to let Teresa sit between them. "You look like you need a stiff drink." He motioned to the bar tender. "So, kids are you ready to party?"

Lisbon smiled weakly. "Not tonight Walter, maybe some other time." It had been a chastening experience dealing with Marcus, she couldn't fault his conclusions, they simply weren't meant to be.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Walter piped up, "Oh, I thought you'd be interested to know that Karen Cross has booked up on a world cruise – apparently she thinks your mole is travelling the high seas. That wouldn't be anything to do with you by any chance?"

A faint smile crossed Jane's lips.

"Thought so." Walter guessed Karen had been duped again. "Well you two are no fun, and a lissom brunette beckons yonder. Just remember what I said Patrick. See you around."

They watched as Walter used his infamous charm on the statuesque specimen perched at the bar. "I think for once Walter's antennae may be leading him down the wrong path, or maybe not." Jane observed wryly.

Lisbon's eyes opened wide – Walter had chased everything in a skirt for the last decade.

"What did Walter mean - remember what he said?" Lisbon's curiosity got the better of her.

"Oh, just some friendly advice." Jane said evasively.

There was no point hanging around if Jane wasn't going to talk to her. "Well I suppose I'd better get packed then."

"No, don't go." Jane reached out to her. "It's been a long time since we've spent any time together."

Lisbon looked uncertainly at him. "Well I suppose one drink won't do any harm."

"We make a good team, you and me. I thought maybe you'd consider hanging around a bit." Jane suggested weakly.

Lisbon's eyes flashed in frustration, if that was the best he'd got to offer she may as well go now.

"Not just work, I mean us." Jane gestured with his hand to illustrate the connection.

Lisbon huffed, he was going to have to do a whole lot better than that if he wanted a response.

"I was thinking maybe we could spend a few days here to get to know each other again."

"What about the Globe?" Lisbon knew Jane normally had to be prised away from his beloved paper.

Jane waved his hand dismissively "Bah! Scully can look after that."

Lisbon looked surprised. It was a start, but she wasn't going to let him off the hook just yet. "I'll have to consult my diary.".

"You're really going to make me work for this aren't you?" Jane puffed his cheeks out in exasperation.

"You betcha." There was a glint in Lisbon's eye by this stage, that suggested he wasn't chasing a lost cause.

Walter waved at them from the opposite side of the bar before joining his leggy companion (an orthodontist called Bruce from Milwaukee), on the dancefloor. Walter was bumping and grinding to a spirited version of She Bangs.

Jane's eyebrows raised in approval, Walter certainly had all the moves.

"Do you think we should say something?" Lisbon was still in denial.

Jane shook his head. "Nah! What happens in Venezuela stays in Venezuela." He shuffled up closer to her, encouraged by her more relaxed body language. Rome wasn't built in a day, and he had a lot of wooing to do to win the lady round.

Jane suddenly realised that he no longer commanded Lisbon's full attention. She was distracted by the rolling headlines on the television screen. Her Spanish was a bit patchy, but the picture told a thousand words. She gave Jane a sharp nudge in the ribs causing him to wince. "Isn't that Luca Gryphon, the head of Northside Capital?"

Jane squinted to make out the detail, before offhandedly acknowledging it was indeed the disgraced Chicago Mortgage Broker.

"Puerto Cabella that's only a few hours away from here." Lisbon's eyes darted around as she weighed up the options. This guy was the lowest of the low, defrauding people of their life savings, and now he was about to exploit a whole new set of people. If the Globe could break this story it would be a real feather in their cap. Her journalistic instincts went into overdrive.

Jane whined plaintively. "But Lisbon what about our getting to know each other again? Holding hands watching the sun go down, and candlelit dinners at restaurants with fancy tablecloths."

Lisbon screwed her face up incredulously. "Call yourself a newsman? We can't just swan around while there's news breaking." She chanced a quick look back at the dancefloor, where Walter was shaking his bon bons, oblivious to the outside world.

Lisbon almost wrenched Jane's arm out of its socket as she pulled him off his stool. "Come on, we have a plane to catch before Mashburn gets wind of this."

Lisbon grinned maniacally like the Cheshire cat and ran off in front of him. Jane's eyes switched from Mashburn's gyrations, and then back to Lisbon who was now skipping as she disappeared into the distance.

Jane's head started to spin as if he was being sucked into a vortex - it was as if he'd fallen down a rabbit hole and had ended up at the Mad Hatter's tea party. The world had gone mad!

* * *

In the dim distance he heard a voice gently calling him, and he felt someone shaking his shoulder. "Wake up, wake up."

Jane slowly opened his eyes; the old movie had long since finished. He grimaced at the sound of the jarring Latin pop music now blaring from the television, although it sounded strangely familiar.

"What have I told you about eating cheese at night?" Lisbon gently chided him as she cleared away his plate. "So, who were you this time?"

"Cary Grant." Jane responded sheepishly, relieved that Teresa seemed to have calmed down after their fight just before bedtime.

"Now I know you're dreaming. Come to bed." Lisbon ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Teresa. Who's Pike?" Jane couldn't for the life of him work out why this Pike had figured so prominently in his dream.

Lisbon stopped dead in her tracks. Now that was a long story.


End file.
